why didnt you believe me when i told you i didnt put it there? why dont you ever believe me? i really didnt put it there. that's the truth. why cant you believe me just for once? just once. forget it. you dont ever believe me.

i'm telling you i didnt put it there. i really didnt. stop scolding me for things i didnt do! you're so unreasonable. you dont ever notice when i'm sad, when i'm embarassed or when i'm happy. you dont comfort me or praise me. you never did. im not sure if there was even one time you were proud of me. ive done so many things, what more do you want?!

its painful when you dont notice the things i do. its painful when i'm being humiliated by others and you join in. you dont ever notice my emotions do you? no, maybe you do but you dont care. what have i done to receive this?

you make promises that you dont keep. you deny words that you say and instead put words in my mouth. this is an unfair world.

sometimes i really wished i could just talk to you and tell you what i really feel but i cant. because if i did, you'd probably just make me feel stupid, which you are best at doing. and i cant cry in front of you because you'd just humiliate me even more. why cant you just understand me?! does it really take a lot to understand me? am i really that difficult? then tell me!

sometimes i just need a person to talk to, to pour my heart out to. to just be there for me, listen to me and not say a word. but you dont notice my needs do you? everything i do is wrong; everything others do is right. i wish you'll just be proud of me even for just 5 minutes. when i cry, you're not there. in fact, when i do anything, you're not there. you only see the result, the aftermath. you dont see the process. you're not there to encourage me or anything. not even there when i needed you the most.

i dont think i need you now. i'm pretty much independant, thanks to your negligence. i should thank you though, for making me such a strong and independant person. but i dont suppose you'll ever hear those words. ever.

i know some things to you are probably minor things to be upset over, but you dont know how much those minor things mean to me. you dont know whats happened in school life, losing a best friend, being invisible in school, having no one notice me. those things make a difference in my growing up. but obviously you didnt understand because you never even bothered to find out. i've been scarred, and you're just making it worse. is that right, sometimes i question myself.

maybe its wrong to put all the blame on you. maybe i could have told you my problems. but you didnt once invite me to tell you my problems. you have never asked "what's wrong?". only when i'm sick. even my friends can tell when i'm putting on a front, trying to face and overcome my problems by myself. they can ask me "what's wrong?" and when i say nothing, they can reply "stop lying. i can tell something's wrong. wanna talk about it?".

you dont even realise my feelings. i dont think you'll even realise if i died. i think no one would. my existance on this earth doesnt make a difference to anybody. everything would remain the same if i vanished. now wouldnt that be nice?

i really hate masks.