Lord im amazed

ugh.

been COUGHing really quite badly lately. throat hurts alot, chest pain, blocked nose, etc etc.

anyway. past weekend since after exams have been pretty crazy. friday morning had campus938live recording. hhahaha apparently uncle andrew heard me. but anyway. yeah then had training, then cc went for lunch and had meeting. very fruitful! so very good. then after that walked in the rain from btp to beauty world to meet certain people. and it was so friggin cold lah. so now im like sick. which is really not good. anyway. yeah then went to joans, watched half of secret, then went down to cell and then went home. then saturday i packed the house! so proud of myself. then went for cell. cell was sooooo awesome. pat spoke on the sermon on the mount, and after her sermon, then she called for those who wanted to feel more of God in their lives to step forward, so i did, and the holy spirit just totally came over me. and like, cos i was quite stressed during thursday and friday, so i was quite bottled up, but before God i couldnt help but just really let everything out. and it was good cry. it's been a long time.

i'm really really glad God called me back to him on saturday. cos like, yeah, pretty busy during thursday and friday, then in the midst of all my business, i really lost God. like, totally couldnt feel his presence. and on friday night after cell, i really felt like crying cos i felt so lost and alone and that God just wasnt there. but yanka called me and that prevented me from crying. but i really really am once again, amazed by God's graciousness and love for me.

thank you yanks for the talk on friday. it really helped to be able to share with someone what i was thinking about being different when with different people. you called me for me to help you but you ended up helping me. haha and i dont even know if i managed to help you or not. hahah. but anyway. thanks yah.

my temperament's been a little short lately. i dont know why. im not feeling the best physically, and getting very violent mood swings. a bit scary. but if ive been rude to anyone, i am really so sorry and i still love you very much so i hope you still love me too!((:

anyway. today, cell retreat. after service, then we met up, went for meeting then went for lunch and stuff. our cell is super retarded. we spent dunno how long just to decide where to eat and ended up eating at bk. ahahha piang ehhh. but im grateful for this bunch of people. cos they make me laugh a lot. and we're all gonna stayover at tricia's and go home tomorrow. damn sad lah, no camera. so annoying. *HINTHINT*

anyway. i realise a lot of people have been pretty emotional lately, myself included. and i also realise that despite however happy and problem free you appear to be, there's always that small bottle of emoness in everyone that needs to be poured out. and sometimes, that emoness tends to spread. but as long as it gets cleaned up, i think its pretty all right. so let it all out, but remember to clean up.(:

many things to settle in the coming weeks. i really need to draw strength from God to sustain me through everything. and i need to stop procrastinating too. ahhah.

sigh. i have a lot of things to say to a lot of people, but i dont wanna do it here, cos its well, kinda personal. but then i'll need to find the time and courage to tell the person. toughhhhh.

BERNICE JULY CHAN YOU ARE SO RETARDED. you flood like crazyyyyyy lah! ahhaha anyway. glad you're back to normal. or abnormal. haha! okay not funny. but really lah. call anytime okay.(: i dont ever wanna tell you, or anyone else, for that matter, one more time that you can call me to talk cos you should already know all right.(:

okay. now i need to uhm. find something else to do. ohh! and pris and i cycled and I FELL. pain sia. but heck lahh. ahhah.

ohoh! and...

all this is cocoa:

no just kidding. it's sand.

how deep
how wide
how great
is Your love for me