gosh. im feeling really bad. the past few days have just been like. bad. im really so glad that this week is a short week.

lets see what happened during the week. its been so hectic.

monday went for syf (read previous post) and like had quite a lot of things to do, so i had like 2 cups of coffee to keep me awake, but it was like wayyy too much. i only fell asleep at 5.15 and woke up at 6. it was kinda bad. so i was like really really tired and stuff.yeah.

tuesday. hm. had rehearsal. melin and nicole couldnt attend. so we covered for them. although judy said it was an okay run, i know we can do so much better that just...that. i mean, its a really good show, and we're really wasting it. luckily jon didnt go or we'll just all be in trouble. it was quite a fast run, ended at like 830, debriefed until bout 9 plus and then went to change, clear props blah blah blah. then went home, had to like finish homework and study history and all that, slept at around 2+. mmhmm. yepp. and like i was still very tired lah.

wednesday. history test postponed, i was so happy. cos that means i had more time to study. it was just this huge load off. then drama sec 4 farewell. it was so screwed up. we had like no food, no games, no nothing. like all the games were all impromptu, everyone was asking me where the food was cos they were hungry and stuff, it was just so bad. and i felt really bad cos we didnt plan it properly and it sucked lah. it was just. bad. i dunno. but i felt it was better than last year's. drama is like falling apart. yeah then we had like a lot of leftovers for ice cream, so xiang, krystle and i waited with ms tan for the netties to finish training then we gave them ice cream. then i went back, did work and i was supposed to study for life science and math but i fell asleep at like 11. yeah but then i woke up at bout 3.30 then i studied and then rested until my mum woke us up again. so i like had 4 half hours. not too bad, really.

thursday, aka, today. today was quite bad lah. life science test first period, i kinda screwed it up, seriously think i failed, then had math test, im mentally prepared already. but math was really like quite bad lah cos i didnt know how to do the second page and that would mean that half my marks would be emitted already. i really felt like crying. then i went to the comp lab during recess to ATTEMPT to work on the video for opening, and i found out that i was like blacklisted from the comp lab and i was banned. wth. i really didnt know what was going on. i was super confused lah. then physics pract wasnt very good, geog was just boring. then i was like falling asleep during grammar and i got really quite irritated. then after that i was pretty moody and now i feel so bad cos i was very uhm... in a way, strict with grace and i ignored her most of the time. i was quite dao lah, in general. but i was really tired and there was just this whole lot of things swirling around in my brain and i cant seem to work them out. and today, omg, after we completed the video, i was creating a video file, the stupid thing took forever to create and then the lab person said the lab was going to close so i didnt manage to create it. i was so pissed off. like seriously. and then ms kek told me she was gonna put jo in charge of bamboo courtyard for the musical but i already told stef she was in charge and now i think stef's like pissed at me. and im feeling really bad lah cos i was the one who said she was going to be in charge then now shes not. omg. i really feel so bad and i know how she feels lah. i dunno. im just really confused.

tmr cheo wants to go out. i dont mind, i just really hope that i wont be too tired. then saturday there's rehearsal again.

im just really happy that a lot of things are over and i wont have to think bout them anymore. not for some time, at least. like, sec 4 farewell is done, no more rehearsals till saturday, the only remaining test for this week is history, tmr is half day, the video is completed, just need to convert it. im really so relieved. this week is just. man. its just so different. i dunno. but its a whole lot off my shoulders. i can breathe again. although of course there are things that are still bothering me, but its really a lot less and i really wanna thank God for bringing me through the week and being there for me. he's taken my glass of water from me this week. (: well, its a really small cup now. haha. i can finally laugh. although i feel like crying. im really just. so tired. i dont wanna think. hmm. my emotions are just like... mixed. i know what im supposed to do, but i havent got the motivation to do it ahhh.... okay okay.

i really need to cry. pfsh. i wish i wasnt so weak.