man i felt so insignificant and unwanted today. like an outcast. i didnt know why. maybe its cos i dont have anyone to go for recess with, maybe its because half the time im alone wondering what to do next. i dunno. but i was just. really quite down. like there's just no one i can pour out my feelings to, no one's there for me. like, it was as though it didnt matter if i existed or not. and i was just crying in class cos i was feeling so down. felt like i didnt matter to anyone. no one cared what happened to me.

the insignificance of me.

and take the musical, for example. it really wouldnt matter if i was there or not. jonathan can easily find someone to replace me if i wasnt there. someone else who was free could easily take over my duties and responsibilities. i dont do much anyway. no one bothered bout me. or so it felt.

i dunno man. im just feeling so insecure. like no one remembered me. no one would cry for me or anything. i mean, i know its really bad to think so negatively, but i cant help it. i just...feel that way.

everything i do isnt appreciated. no matter how much effort i put into doing something, its never appreciated.
if its not appreciated, then its wrong. and i get scolded. whats the point of getting me to do the job when you're going to scold me in the end. i think its ridiculous.

well, doesnt matter anyway. i wont ever be recognised.

i want to cry. shows how bloody weak i am, doesnt it.

argh. i hate myself.

POINTLESS LITTLE CREATURE.