so many things to blog about, so little time! and i have a feeling i'm probably never going to get down to doing the movie reviews, so in short, just watch all three.
plenty of updates: church camp, hongkong, and sunday school camp. but i'll just touch on sunday school camp for this post.
having grown up in sunday school, when i went for this camp, i felt really old. i still remember the past ss camps, when i was a participant, and now im making friends with kids that are 8-12 years of age. this journey that God has walked with me has been nothing short of amazing.
i'm extremely thankful for this particular ss camp, although i was really quite drained and stressed throughout. and thinking about other unimportant things as well. anyhow, i spent most of the first day taking care of judith, and God has truly taught me lessons through her. i learnt to see her through the eyes of God. this time round, God really opened my eyes to see her innocent little heart. it's so easy to just brush her off and think that she doesnt understand anything, but that is not true. she can do the actions to worship songs by heart, and i know that when God sees that, He is pleased, because she is so sincere, and has no other motivation. God has taught me patience in a very interesting way this time.
taking charge of the skit for the joo chiat cc outreach event was also another opportunity that i got to work with people i've never seriously worked with before. kids like keefe and vernnon, and even jay who's not from our church. from the youth, bryan and kvell, and God has blessed me with this platform to get to know each of them so much more. i admit i felt it was a burden at first, because it meant more things to worry about, and less time to self. but God has taught me (once again) that if things are done according to his plan, there really is no burden, because he will make things come to pass, and he works in his time.
i think it was really quite an incredible feat that the whole team managed to pull off the skit within a week, right from the start all the way until the final presentation. sure, there were hiccups here and there, changes and uncertainty and doubt and hopeless and weariness, but the knowledge that you've served God to the best of your abilities, within your capacity, and that your work and service reaches out and touches the lives of others, i think theres nothing greater.
in other news, i've twisted/sprained my ankle, and i still dont know how i will manage baptism tmr, but we will see how things go. and i hope my ankle recovers quickly and happily.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Sunday, December 04, 2011
movie reviews
ok this is insane, i have watched 3 movies in 1 week = too much money gone.
i will do movie reviews in time to come, just not yet. when i finally find the time, just for me to keep memories of them. but, highly recommended, and while it is still showing, go watch 'You're the Apple of my Eye'. fantastic show. pretty crude, but extremely funny.
i will also do a review on Kaiji 2 and Already Famous. Kaiji 2 has stopped showing, but Already Famous is still screening. do catch it if you can, good laugh.
i will do movie reviews in time to come, just not yet. when i finally find the time, just for me to keep memories of them. but, highly recommended, and while it is still showing, go watch 'You're the Apple of my Eye'. fantastic show. pretty crude, but extremely funny.
i will also do a review on Kaiji 2 and Already Famous. Kaiji 2 has stopped showing, but Already Famous is still screening. do catch it if you can, good laugh.
Friday, July 22, 2011
epic journey
yesterday was such a tiring day.
had the first full run for the musical, and mgs girls really kill my brain. mg has really changed so much over the last 3 years after i left. the girls these days are sooooo spoilt. or maybe it's just the particular girls who are helping out for crew, but oh my seriously. not funny.
anyway, that aside, after rehearsal, as i was walking down to the bus stop with crystal, she discovered this little boy walking behind us, and we were wondering where on earth his parents were, cos he was seriously young and definitely shouldnt be allowed out on his own.
anyway to cut the long story short, we asked him to lead us back to his home. he's such a clever and brave boy, but wayyy too naughty. from the sterling, we walked all the way back to maplewoods and he even knew the way back to his unit! ohh myyy such a clever boy. and along the way we found out he was 4 years old, and from auckland.
then when his mum finally found him, she suddenly starting spouting out a string of japanese. we just died hahahah.
anyway, he was a very very cute boy, but we were very very tired after that. what a story to tell man. machiam like come out from drama. hahah.
had the first full run for the musical, and mgs girls really kill my brain. mg has really changed so much over the last 3 years after i left. the girls these days are sooooo spoilt. or maybe it's just the particular girls who are helping out for crew, but oh my seriously. not funny.
anyway, that aside, after rehearsal, as i was walking down to the bus stop with crystal, she discovered this little boy walking behind us, and we were wondering where on earth his parents were, cos he was seriously young and definitely shouldnt be allowed out on his own.
anyway to cut the long story short, we asked him to lead us back to his home. he's such a clever and brave boy, but wayyy too naughty. from the sterling, we walked all the way back to maplewoods and he even knew the way back to his unit! ohh myyy such a clever boy. and along the way we found out he was 4 years old, and from auckland.
then when his mum finally found him, she suddenly starting spouting out a string of japanese. we just died hahahah.
anyway, he was a very very cute boy, but we were very very tired after that. what a story to tell man. machiam like come out from drama. hahah.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
junior's lessons
i was looking for pictures from mrs noah's arc which im so sure i had it somewhere on my blog, but i cannot find it for some reason. what a waste. i'm so sure i posted it, maybe i didnt publish it...
okay found it here so i did publish it, but i think my previous blog posts were all too long, so blogger didnt show the full month's archives.
anyway, looking back at that production, i realised i've met suven and bob before, but of course, never expected that i should work with them again in 4 years. anyhow.
i was just reflecting on working on this production, and although i complain a lot about rehearsal and about the kids and all, i think im still very thankful that i have this opportunity to work with children. somehow, although they are difficult in the sense that it takes really long for them to settle down, and there are loads of other problems to solve, one thing i really appreciate about them is their sincerity and innocence. they don't judge you for who you are, and when you scold them, they don't take it personally and they bear no grudge. of course, maybe half the time, it's because they have no idea what on earth is going on, but i really love their transparency and their genuinity. they really just accept you, and so many of them are jsut yearning and wanting that attention from you.
makes me think about what i am like as a child of God. do i reflect that same kind of transparency and sincerity? am i non-judgmental? do i forgive and not bear grudges?
i think God has really taught me a lot from working the past 7 months on this musical. i love the children, and sometimes, to be very honest, i find it so much better to work with them than the adults.
i know i always say that i don't want kids, but i still hold true to that statement. i wouldn't mind working with kids, but i wouldn't want kids of my own because they will ultimately grow up to become adults.
well, we're 10 days away from production, and things are still moving pretty slowly, but it's all in God's hands.
but the road ahead is dark
the path we seek we cannot see
okay found it here so i did publish it, but i think my previous blog posts were all too long, so blogger didnt show the full month's archives.
anyway, looking back at that production, i realised i've met suven and bob before, but of course, never expected that i should work with them again in 4 years. anyhow.
i was just reflecting on working on this production, and although i complain a lot about rehearsal and about the kids and all, i think im still very thankful that i have this opportunity to work with children. somehow, although they are difficult in the sense that it takes really long for them to settle down, and there are loads of other problems to solve, one thing i really appreciate about them is their sincerity and innocence. they don't judge you for who you are, and when you scold them, they don't take it personally and they bear no grudge. of course, maybe half the time, it's because they have no idea what on earth is going on, but i really love their transparency and their genuinity. they really just accept you, and so many of them are jsut yearning and wanting that attention from you.
makes me think about what i am like as a child of God. do i reflect that same kind of transparency and sincerity? am i non-judgmental? do i forgive and not bear grudges?
i think God has really taught me a lot from working the past 7 months on this musical. i love the children, and sometimes, to be very honest, i find it so much better to work with them than the adults.
i know i always say that i don't want kids, but i still hold true to that statement. i wouldn't mind working with kids, but i wouldn't want kids of my own because they will ultimately grow up to become adults.
well, we're 10 days away from production, and things are still moving pretty slowly, but it's all in God's hands.
but the road ahead is dark
the path we seek we cannot see
Friday, July 15, 2011
the homeless and the heartless
wanted to put this post up two days ago, but got a bit procrastinaty, but here it is.
as i was walking home from the bus stop after surprising salad, as i was nearing my block and heading towards the lift lobby, i saw an aged man folding and laying towels. as i neared him, i realised he was making his bed on one of those ledges. he had a black suitcase near him, and his pillow was made of smaller folded towels bunched together.
i felt like giving him something to eat, but i had no food with me. i felt like giving him some money, but i had no cash with me. so i just walked past him, like every other normal person would.
i guess the reality of the matter is that i was just making excuses for not having the courage to help him, although no one was looking. or was it because no one was looking, so i didn't bother to help him? i could have easily bought something from the coffeeshop for him to eat. i could have just walked a little bit more to withdraw cash from the atm. but i didn't.
it's impractical to want to help every needy person on earth, but isn't it like the story of the boy on the beach who was throwing starfish back into the ocean. the task may be seemingly impossible, but if my reaching out will help that one person, shouldn't i extend it? even if i may face rejection, even if i may face judgment, i shouldn't care about what others think of me right?
but it's so much easier said than done.
as i was walking home from the bus stop after surprising salad, as i was nearing my block and heading towards the lift lobby, i saw an aged man folding and laying towels. as i neared him, i realised he was making his bed on one of those ledges. he had a black suitcase near him, and his pillow was made of smaller folded towels bunched together.
i felt like giving him something to eat, but i had no food with me. i felt like giving him some money, but i had no cash with me. so i just walked past him, like every other normal person would.
i guess the reality of the matter is that i was just making excuses for not having the courage to help him, although no one was looking. or was it because no one was looking, so i didn't bother to help him? i could have easily bought something from the coffeeshop for him to eat. i could have just walked a little bit more to withdraw cash from the atm. but i didn't.
it's impractical to want to help every needy person on earth, but isn't it like the story of the boy on the beach who was throwing starfish back into the ocean. the task may be seemingly impossible, but if my reaching out will help that one person, shouldn't i extend it? even if i may face rejection, even if i may face judgment, i shouldn't care about what others think of me right?
but it's so much easier said than done.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
boyce avenue
just started listening to them. i like their music, and i like their covers. looks like they'll be sticking around for some time.
okay, i intended to put up a proper entry, but i am way too tired. have a lot of things on my mind to share, but maybe tomorrow morning.
for now, i shall retire.
okay, i intended to put up a proper entry, but i am way too tired. have a lot of things on my mind to share, but maybe tomorrow morning.
for now, i shall retire.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
jenga
was aiming to do a post last night, but fell asleep.
anyway. the musical is a little bit retarded. i dont think i will ever come to comprehend how the minds of little 7, 8 year old girls function. i dont understand how there is such a huge discrepancy between the maturity of girls the same age. it is truly a wonder. anyhow, the progress is a little bit slow, and there still many strings to tie up, but hopefully we'll be ready. well, at least now it's one of the things that take my mind off things.
met bev after dinner yesterday, (are you reading this?((:) which made me think what kind of a friend i've been. and to be completely honest with myself, not a very good one. i have a tendency to pile myself under loads of work and work, and i dont have time for friends. but actually, those are all excuses at the end of the day. it really doesnt take much time to drop a friend a text asking how he/she is. given my now-limited messages, but what was i doing in the past? am i a fair weathered friend? am i a monthly affair friend?
gonna meet joan for dinner tonight, and hopefully it'll be a good session of catching up and sharing our deep, deep troubles. but well, jokes aside, pray that ill be a good friend to her!
life is like a game of jenga. your world is perfect and stable at first, but then change happens which makes it unstable, before you finally crash and your world collapses around you. but take some time to let the pieces settle, and rebuild your life again.
edit//
God sure has a sense of humour. just as i finished posting this entry about friends, someone from a raffles prefects convention posted on my wall. to be honest, im never too keen on 'long time ago' friends saying hi, because it always gets awkward because there's nothing to talk about, other than "hi, how've you been?". i suppose that's one of the reasons why i myself dont bother catching up with people and checking in on how they are, because things get really weird after a while.
but i dont want that to keep happening. i want to make things more sincere. more heartfelt. i want each conversation to mean something to me, rather than just being polite and kind, and because it's the right thing to do.
Lord, guide me and teach me.
anyway. the musical is a little bit retarded. i dont think i will ever come to comprehend how the minds of little 7, 8 year old girls function. i dont understand how there is such a huge discrepancy between the maturity of girls the same age. it is truly a wonder. anyhow, the progress is a little bit slow, and there still many strings to tie up, but hopefully we'll be ready. well, at least now it's one of the things that take my mind off things.
met bev after dinner yesterday, (are you reading this?((:) which made me think what kind of a friend i've been. and to be completely honest with myself, not a very good one. i have a tendency to pile myself under loads of work and work, and i dont have time for friends. but actually, those are all excuses at the end of the day. it really doesnt take much time to drop a friend a text asking how he/she is. given my now-limited messages, but what was i doing in the past? am i a fair weathered friend? am i a monthly affair friend?
gonna meet joan for dinner tonight, and hopefully it'll be a good session of catching up and sharing our deep, deep troubles. but well, jokes aside, pray that ill be a good friend to her!
life is like a game of jenga. your world is perfect and stable at first, but then change happens which makes it unstable, before you finally crash and your world collapses around you. but take some time to let the pieces settle, and rebuild your life again.
edit//
God sure has a sense of humour. just as i finished posting this entry about friends, someone from a raffles prefects convention posted on my wall. to be honest, im never too keen on 'long time ago' friends saying hi, because it always gets awkward because there's nothing to talk about, other than "hi, how've you been?". i suppose that's one of the reasons why i myself dont bother catching up with people and checking in on how they are, because things get really weird after a while.
but i dont want that to keep happening. i want to make things more sincere. more heartfelt. i want each conversation to mean something to me, rather than just being polite and kind, and because it's the right thing to do.
Lord, guide me and teach me.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
show me Your heart
it was a good morning, then a not so good day, then a very good evening.
went back to ac to settle payment for the void deck, and sat in for aa3's gp lesson and met up with sa6 as well. really miss these kids, they (surprisingly) bring so much joy to my life. for the first time in a few days, my mind was taken off other things, and i could really laugh.
then went down to mg for rehearsal. the musical is somewhat coming along, still a bit worried about the standard and quality though and not much time left to rehearse with the kids, but they still aren't taking it seriously. and of course my personal spiritual struggle wrt conflict between the uppers. won't post here, for safety and security reasons, but God, please grant me the wisdom to handle the situation and patience to handle the people. sometimes, it really isn't funny.
then lmg thanksgiving dinner! it was okay, but i think cos there were so many empty spaces of time in between, i got a bit distracted and upset again. idk why this is lasting for so long. idk what the underlying lesson God is trying to teach me. i want to get over it. i want to rest. but im still feeling so burdened - but idk with what. and its a terrible struggle.
but in any case, the sharing and worship sessions were good. just hearing how God talks to each and every one of us so differently really encourages me. and knowing that he remains faithful throughout different circumstances.
You are on Your throne, You are God alone
ok, getting tired and i have other postings to do. but im slowly making up for the omega long hiatus, right!((:
went back to ac to settle payment for the void deck, and sat in for aa3's gp lesson and met up with sa6 as well. really miss these kids, they (surprisingly) bring so much joy to my life. for the first time in a few days, my mind was taken off other things, and i could really laugh.
then went down to mg for rehearsal. the musical is somewhat coming along, still a bit worried about the standard and quality though and not much time left to rehearse with the kids, but they still aren't taking it seriously. and of course my personal spiritual struggle wrt conflict between the uppers. won't post here, for safety and security reasons, but God, please grant me the wisdom to handle the situation and patience to handle the people. sometimes, it really isn't funny.
then lmg thanksgiving dinner! it was okay, but i think cos there were so many empty spaces of time in between, i got a bit distracted and upset again. idk why this is lasting for so long. idk what the underlying lesson God is trying to teach me. i want to get over it. i want to rest. but im still feeling so burdened - but idk with what. and its a terrible struggle.
but in any case, the sharing and worship sessions were good. just hearing how God talks to each and every one of us so differently really encourages me. and knowing that he remains faithful throughout different circumstances.
You are on Your throne, You are God alone
ok, getting tired and i have other postings to do. but im slowly making up for the omega long hiatus, right!((:
Sunday, July 10, 2011
robotz in dizguize.
okay, as promised, my transformers post! although i think i'll probably do another post on lj, here goes.
first and foremost, disclaimer: this is just my personal review of the movie. im not a hardcore transformers fan, but i do enjoy it very very much on a pretty superficial level, so forgive me if i dont understand the essence and the heart of transformers.
warning: may contain spoilers!
watched it at the new lido imax cinema. estee lauder is wayy too rich, they bought the entire cinema. it was crazy. and every pair of tickets was entitled to a free popcorn and a free nachos and cheese, and 2 drinks. it was pretty luxurious.
the screen in the cinema was (a little too) big, and the 3d glasses were strange after a while. to be completely honest, i think the most 3d thing about the whole 3d movie was the subtitles cos they popped out throughout the movie. the rest were kinda like...allright. i guess.
in terms of plot, there was none. okay, fine, some credit, there WAS a plot, but there wasn't much continuation from the previous two movies. i guess that's good for those watching transformers 3 for the first time, but well. and the storyline was wayyy too predictable. clearly not too much thought put in, i think the focus was on (as always) the cinematographic effects, which i will mention later. but i guess that's kind of trademark of transformers. it's a guy movie.
okay, for special effects, i thought it lost to the 2nd movie honestly. it was much too chaotic, half the time you see rubble and debris, and they didnt actually show that much transformation as compared to the 2nd movie. given that there were a lot more transformers in their robot forms, they were mostly nameless decepticons. too little screentime was given to the important transformers (ie bumblebee, megatron). too much on the humans who really aren't half as interesting as the transformers. not in this movie anyway.
characters were pretty simple and 1-dimensional, not many layers, pretty much the same. the only really interesting character i felt was Seymour Simmons. the rest just kinda fell flat. especially the new girlfriend. i wish they gave her a more important and significant role. her talk with megatron was far too desperate an attempt to make her vital in the movie. a bit sad, but yes. and sam's character in this particular movie is SO whiny. it's not endearing anymore. it's become annoying. and i find it quite strange how bumblebee develops feelings for sam. i mean, sure, its a movie. but still...
and they showed wayy too little of sideswipe here. and i just realised how small he is compared to optimus prime. or maybe optimus prime is big. but optimus prime is so annoying. he speaks in such a strange way and tone and his words are so cheesy. i know its the script, but i wish they added more value to his character. i mean, sentinel prime is so much cooler than optimus prime. optimus is just too...prime-ish.
and the movie was a little bit too long. 2 1/2 hours may be a little too long for some. but the action should keep you awake.
well, having said all that, it was generally a pretty enjoyable movie, im just being a bit bitter because sideswipe barely had any screentime. but well, like any other transformers fan, i did enjoy it for the action and effects and transformation. watch it if you have nothing else to watch.
RBG dinner is also FINALLY over, together with LoveMG, so the only thing that's left is the musical. which i like to believe will be over in no time. more things off my plate now.((: yes i can sincerely smile.
on a more serious note, things are still a little bit unsettled within me, but God has added a few songs to my mental prayer playlist, and this is one of them.
Just love them like Jesus
Carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
first and foremost, disclaimer: this is just my personal review of the movie. im not a hardcore transformers fan, but i do enjoy it very very much on a pretty superficial level, so forgive me if i dont understand the essence and the heart of transformers.
warning: may contain spoilers!
watched it at the new lido imax cinema. estee lauder is wayy too rich, they bought the entire cinema. it was crazy. and every pair of tickets was entitled to a free popcorn and a free nachos and cheese, and 2 drinks. it was pretty luxurious.
the screen in the cinema was (a little too) big, and the 3d glasses were strange after a while. to be completely honest, i think the most 3d thing about the whole 3d movie was the subtitles cos they popped out throughout the movie. the rest were kinda like...allright. i guess.
in terms of plot, there was none. okay, fine, some credit, there WAS a plot, but there wasn't much continuation from the previous two movies. i guess that's good for those watching transformers 3 for the first time, but well. and the storyline was wayyy too predictable. clearly not too much thought put in, i think the focus was on (as always) the cinematographic effects, which i will mention later. but i guess that's kind of trademark of transformers. it's a guy movie.
okay, for special effects, i thought it lost to the 2nd movie honestly. it was much too chaotic, half the time you see rubble and debris, and they didnt actually show that much transformation as compared to the 2nd movie. given that there were a lot more transformers in their robot forms, they were mostly nameless decepticons. too little screentime was given to the important transformers (ie bumblebee, megatron). too much on the humans who really aren't half as interesting as the transformers. not in this movie anyway.
characters were pretty simple and 1-dimensional, not many layers, pretty much the same. the only really interesting character i felt was Seymour Simmons. the rest just kinda fell flat. especially the new girlfriend. i wish they gave her a more important and significant role. her talk with megatron was far too desperate an attempt to make her vital in the movie. a bit sad, but yes. and sam's character in this particular movie is SO whiny. it's not endearing anymore. it's become annoying. and i find it quite strange how bumblebee develops feelings for sam. i mean, sure, its a movie. but still...
and they showed wayy too little of sideswipe here. and i just realised how small he is compared to optimus prime. or maybe optimus prime is big. but optimus prime is so annoying. he speaks in such a strange way and tone and his words are so cheesy. i know its the script, but i wish they added more value to his character. i mean, sentinel prime is so much cooler than optimus prime. optimus is just too...prime-ish.
and the movie was a little bit too long. 2 1/2 hours may be a little too long for some. but the action should keep you awake.
well, having said all that, it was generally a pretty enjoyable movie, im just being a bit bitter because sideswipe barely had any screentime. but well, like any other transformers fan, i did enjoy it for the action and effects and transformation. watch it if you have nothing else to watch.
RBG dinner is also FINALLY over, together with LoveMG, so the only thing that's left is the musical. which i like to believe will be over in no time. more things off my plate now.((: yes i can sincerely smile.
on a more serious note, things are still a little bit unsettled within me, but God has added a few songs to my mental prayer playlist, and this is one of them.
Just love them like Jesus
Carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Friday, July 08, 2011
idkwtd
it's been tough, and it's been a struggle.
i've reflected so much the past few days that i think there's nothing left in me anymore.
but that's where i know Jesus will come in and life my life again.
the past two days of devotional christian have been nothing short of apt.
6 July 2011 - In the midst of wolves, what does it mean to live as Jesus did?
7 July 2011 - I hate goodbyes
and even as i reminisced about the past and visited some of the old blogs (yes i cleaned up quite a bit), i realised that i wasnt the only struggling with my faith. so many of my friends are. and even people who i think are strong in their faith, they struggle too. and ive learnt that in life, you will never, ever stop struggling. you will always struggle with something. because its only through your struggles that you see Jesus. if life were perfect, Jesus would be pointless.
for he did not come to save the healthy but to heal the sick.
ive been crying a bit (too much) over the past few days as well. not being able to sleep, having no appetite, and just no mood to do anything. putting up a front so i dont disrupt the people around me. but i know that all this will be over soon. and everything will be ok in the end.
go ahead, cry. let your tears wash your eyes so you will see Jesus more clearly.
when i saw my classmates yesterday at the wake, i felt really so discouraged. some of them are christians, others not. but i felt so alone. i felt that God wasn't there at all. christians who swear, christians who smoke, christians who dont care about their faith. and i really felt so stumbled, because for someone who i believed was strong about his faith, i felt that he was such a hypocrite. the 1 year doing bible study with him, seems so wasted. i feel so cheated.
but even as i felt all of these negative emotions, i thought, are these a reflection of what i am like to others? do others feel disgusted and turned off by my behaviour and words too? am i a hypocrite to them?
Matthew 7
3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
yesterday also reminded me of something that i've been saying, but never understood the true meaning of.
"but you keep turning to these empty wells whenever you're angry, whenever you're hurting, whenever you're lonely and tired, but they do not work." - God's Chisel
and suddenly the truth pours out to me. how often do we turn to distractions to numb or distract ourselves from the pain and the guilt we feel in our lives? but how much does God want us to turn to him? why do we always have the tendency to choose the harder and more painful route, than the easier and more peaceful way?
we are ultimately all God's creation, and he loves us and wants so much to fellowship with us. when will we stop pushing him away and turn back to him?
"you are my original masterpiece. you are one of my workmanship. in you i find favour." - God's Chisel
remember, kat, that life without Jesus is like a donut (the traditional kind), where there's a hole in the center of your heart.
on a much much lighter note, transformers 3 in 3d with the family tonight! i'm quite excited, and i'll be all ready to make another post on lj after tonight!
i've reflected so much the past few days that i think there's nothing left in me anymore.
but that's where i know Jesus will come in and life my life again.
the past two days of devotional christian have been nothing short of apt.
6 July 2011 - In the midst of wolves, what does it mean to live as Jesus did?
7 July 2011 - I hate goodbyes
and even as i reminisced about the past and visited some of the old blogs (yes i cleaned up quite a bit), i realised that i wasnt the only struggling with my faith. so many of my friends are. and even people who i think are strong in their faith, they struggle too. and ive learnt that in life, you will never, ever stop struggling. you will always struggle with something. because its only through your struggles that you see Jesus. if life were perfect, Jesus would be pointless.
for he did not come to save the healthy but to heal the sick.
ive been crying a bit (too much) over the past few days as well. not being able to sleep, having no appetite, and just no mood to do anything. putting up a front so i dont disrupt the people around me. but i know that all this will be over soon. and everything will be ok in the end.
go ahead, cry. let your tears wash your eyes so you will see Jesus more clearly.
when i saw my classmates yesterday at the wake, i felt really so discouraged. some of them are christians, others not. but i felt so alone. i felt that God wasn't there at all. christians who swear, christians who smoke, christians who dont care about their faith. and i really felt so stumbled, because for someone who i believed was strong about his faith, i felt that he was such a hypocrite. the 1 year doing bible study with him, seems so wasted. i feel so cheated.
but even as i felt all of these negative emotions, i thought, are these a reflection of what i am like to others? do others feel disgusted and turned off by my behaviour and words too? am i a hypocrite to them?
Matthew 7
3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
yesterday also reminded me of something that i've been saying, but never understood the true meaning of.
"but you keep turning to these empty wells whenever you're angry, whenever you're hurting, whenever you're lonely and tired, but they do not work." - God's Chisel
and suddenly the truth pours out to me. how often do we turn to distractions to numb or distract ourselves from the pain and the guilt we feel in our lives? but how much does God want us to turn to him? why do we always have the tendency to choose the harder and more painful route, than the easier and more peaceful way?
we are ultimately all God's creation, and he loves us and wants so much to fellowship with us. when will we stop pushing him away and turn back to him?
"you are my original masterpiece. you are one of my workmanship. in you i find favour." - God's Chisel
remember, kat, that life without Jesus is like a donut (the traditional kind), where there's a hole in the center of your heart.
on a much much lighter note, transformers 3 in 3d with the family tonight! i'm quite excited, and i'll be all ready to make another post on lj after tonight!
Thursday, July 07, 2011
It takes faith to understand
And by faith we understand that we do not need to have all the answers, even though we continually seek answers.
Friday, May 06, 2011
the big day
watching the opposition party making final remarks against the pap is really off putting. criticising the pap really doesnt say much about the pap, but it says a lot about your party.
what was the difference between the speeches of the opposition parties (or wp and nsp at least) vs that of the pap?
both wp and nsp presented in a way that YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR US COS PAP SUCKS rather than because they want to grow singapore. that really makes me question their purpose for contesting. is their true objective to just make sure pap doesnt become the govt again? then after that? what happens? pap can justify their policy changes by looking at the country objectively. but the opposition? 'we will reduce GST to 5%' and we all understand why - because it makes people happy. but what are the other considerations that they have to take into account when reducing gst?
trying to move people using their emotions really isnt gonna work, cos theres no foundation. even if the opposition does win this round (though i highly doubt it), how long are they gonna be able to last? their speeches are mainly about what they can do for YOU, YOU, YOU. hello, you =/= nation ok. please look at it from a nation perspective. you please all the people but your nation fail then how. nsp stated that the government is focused only on the economic side and they just aim for gdp growth. but cmon look at it pragmatically. without gdp growth, how is your country going to grow in other sectors? if not for the many past policies that the pap made, opposition you wouldnt even be standing here today ok.
mr lee hsien loong on the other hand (yeah cos hes more or less the only name i know ahhah and i have a lot of respect for him) was able to deliver his speech from a really objective perspective, concerned about singapore as a country. he's also used proper and live case studies (ahemexamplesahem) to back up his point (ie the death of osama and hence terrorism) and highlight the importance of 'making the right choice' which of course every party uses. but neither of the two opposition parties i watched did the same, and so the impression they leave is really not grounded and their arguments are simply too airy fairy. unbelievable.
well, i guess for now none of this really matters to me, since i cant even vote. but it just annoys me how far opposition goes to ridicule the pap and what underhand means they use to cheat (not garner, cheat) votes. its ridiculous. i dont want people of no integrity to lead me. if you want to contest, then you do it fair and square. you dont lie to the senior citizens and pretend that you have the support of the people.
c'mon singaporeans. we dont use our brains much these days, but for this one time (in 5 years!) please think bout who reeeeely want to be governed by. to me honestly, opposition just isn't cutting it. if you want to challenge, make sure you're at least of the same or better standard.
the only good thing that the opposition has done is to make pap listen to the people more. thanks for that.
what was the difference between the speeches of the opposition parties (or wp and nsp at least) vs that of the pap?
both wp and nsp presented in a way that YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR US COS PAP SUCKS rather than because they want to grow singapore. that really makes me question their purpose for contesting. is their true objective to just make sure pap doesnt become the govt again? then after that? what happens? pap can justify their policy changes by looking at the country objectively. but the opposition? 'we will reduce GST to 5%' and we all understand why - because it makes people happy. but what are the other considerations that they have to take into account when reducing gst?
trying to move people using their emotions really isnt gonna work, cos theres no foundation. even if the opposition does win this round (though i highly doubt it), how long are they gonna be able to last? their speeches are mainly about what they can do for YOU, YOU, YOU. hello, you =/= nation ok. please look at it from a nation perspective. you please all the people but your nation fail then how. nsp stated that the government is focused only on the economic side and they just aim for gdp growth. but cmon look at it pragmatically. without gdp growth, how is your country going to grow in other sectors? if not for the many past policies that the pap made, opposition you wouldnt even be standing here today ok.
mr lee hsien loong on the other hand (yeah cos hes more or less the only name i know ahhah and i have a lot of respect for him) was able to deliver his speech from a really objective perspective, concerned about singapore as a country. he's also used proper and live case studies (ahemexamplesahem) to back up his point (ie the death of osama and hence terrorism) and highlight the importance of 'making the right choice' which of course every party uses. but neither of the two opposition parties i watched did the same, and so the impression they leave is really not grounded and their arguments are simply too airy fairy. unbelievable.
well, i guess for now none of this really matters to me, since i cant even vote. but it just annoys me how far opposition goes to ridicule the pap and what underhand means they use to cheat (not garner, cheat) votes. its ridiculous. i dont want people of no integrity to lead me. if you want to contest, then you do it fair and square. you dont lie to the senior citizens and pretend that you have the support of the people.
c'mon singaporeans. we dont use our brains much these days, but for this one time (in 5 years!) please think bout who reeeeely want to be governed by. to me honestly, opposition just isn't cutting it. if you want to challenge, make sure you're at least of the same or better standard.
the only good thing that the opposition has done is to make pap listen to the people more. thanks for that.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
3 months
wow. a short 3 months and a million things have happened. will this be a long post?
1. i got a job.
yes fantastic. relief teaching at ac, teaching gp. it's okay, kids are quite cute. i think i was quite lucky to get my classes cos they seem mature and from what i hear from joan and hannah and sarah, i am very thankful for my classes. work has been okay, but i just dont like using my brain, so sometimes i get a little bit frustrated when i have to think. and the gp dept makes you do many things other than teach, which is not a good deal. but nevertheless. it has been fun, and i hope it will continue to be fun. another 10 weeks! gogogo!!
2. i got another job.
is this considered moonlighting? i'm helping out, well i wouldn't call it helping out, since i'm being paid, but anyway. i'm involved in mg pri sch musical. the last time i did musical (or something related to drama) was 3 years ago, so i'm hoping i'll be able to cope with the demands of the professional drama people. it's so different when you're involved as a student compared to when you're involved as someone external. politics come in. hmmm. but anyway, the script is out, the songs are being written, everything's flowly smoothly for now. i'm really excited to see the end product.
3. lmg
yes, imma be in the comm! it's going to be so exciting, i just know it. i think God will really move in unexpected ways this year, and i love how he's been speaking to me so indirectly and telling me to depend on his time and trust his timing cos he's timeless. we dont know whats gonna come yet, but we know it's in His hands.
4. results
UGH. ok so i wasnt the most pleased with my results, and i think i could have done better, but God has taught me that results aren't everything and that he has a much greater plan for me in my life than i can ever imagine, so imma take him on faith and see where he leads me. scholarships and everything, yes, but God's plan first.
yeah ok i know it doesnt seem like much, but well, maybe for me, its just been overwhelming and its been a learning journey too. the bad thing is, there's more to come. mmmmmmmmmmmm.
okay, to do list (though i probably wont refer to it anyway):
1. mark essays
2. lesson plan
3. plan meeting with miss k for tuesday
4. reply email
5. uni apps
6. musical rehearsal schedule
7. blahblahblah
okay we'll do it tmr.((:
1. i got a job.
yes fantastic. relief teaching at ac, teaching gp. it's okay, kids are quite cute. i think i was quite lucky to get my classes cos they seem mature and from what i hear from joan and hannah and sarah, i am very thankful for my classes. work has been okay, but i just dont like using my brain, so sometimes i get a little bit frustrated when i have to think. and the gp dept makes you do many things other than teach, which is not a good deal. but nevertheless. it has been fun, and i hope it will continue to be fun. another 10 weeks! gogogo!!
2. i got another job.
is this considered moonlighting? i'm helping out, well i wouldn't call it helping out, since i'm being paid, but anyway. i'm involved in mg pri sch musical. the last time i did musical (or something related to drama) was 3 years ago, so i'm hoping i'll be able to cope with the demands of the professional drama people. it's so different when you're involved as a student compared to when you're involved as someone external. politics come in. hmmm. but anyway, the script is out, the songs are being written, everything's flowly smoothly for now. i'm really excited to see the end product.
3. lmg
yes, imma be in the comm! it's going to be so exciting, i just know it. i think God will really move in unexpected ways this year, and i love how he's been speaking to me so indirectly and telling me to depend on his time and trust his timing cos he's timeless. we dont know whats gonna come yet, but we know it's in His hands.
4. results
UGH. ok so i wasnt the most pleased with my results, and i think i could have done better, but God has taught me that results aren't everything and that he has a much greater plan for me in my life than i can ever imagine, so imma take him on faith and see where he leads me. scholarships and everything, yes, but God's plan first.
yeah ok i know it doesnt seem like much, but well, maybe for me, its just been overwhelming and its been a learning journey too. the bad thing is, there's more to come. mmmmmmmmmmmm.
okay, to do list (though i probably wont refer to it anyway):
1. mark essays
2. lesson plan
3. plan meeting with miss k for tuesday
4. reply email
5. uni apps
6. musical rehearsal schedule
7. blahblahblah
okay we'll do it tmr.((:
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