hmm okay im seriously really blogging tooooo much.

eh i dunno why i posted that previous post man. so lowwww.

ahhaha anyway. today was super super high day for me. i dunno why. ok lesse.

uhm... i went to school in the morning to get history textbook and print stuff for jie. my my i feel so nice okay. like 20+++ pages for her onlyyyy. ahahaha. but anyway. then i came home, ate PENG GUI(: drowned in sweet sauce. i think thats what made me high. ahhah then after that i just started laughing and laughing and i was just really really all the way up there. hahahah

yeah then uhm i didnt do any work at all today! i was like. completely slack. ): yar and i was super bored lah. yeah then i slacked slacked slacked then i got emo =X hence the previous post and then mabel came over to get hsm and then dunno lah. a whole lot of junk happened today. hahah but me and jie were retarded. and i cam whored AGAIN. i need to be banned from the camera i tell you. haha sigh.

hm nat got in. thought so. ahhh but she doesnt know if shes gonna go yet or not.

for some reason, daphne khoo's desperate comforts me. i dunno. i listened to it yday at granddy's place when i was upset then like it cheered me up lah. i dunno why. then junnow also when i was emo. i kept listening to it and i dunno. its got nice lyrics. though i cant really hear some of it.

i think my cat has an infected eye. ):

okay okay reply to tags:

joan: hahha really! thats retarded. ahhaha

jo: hhahah you can go next year! it'll be lotsa fun next year. (: and im not blind lahh! we really dont look alike okayyyy. hahah. and yes, IRRITATING PRIMARY SCHOOL GIRLS. hahaha

rae: ahahah noooo we're really different man. ahahah seriously okay.

charmaine: hahaha hi char(: hahaha yar hor you very observant ah. ahhaha

mab: hey mab! haha you tc too yeah! love love!

pomelo: mwehheheheh your obituary thing is very funny. haha

Megan: noooooo meg! you're supposed to agree with ME. haha love!

jie: EH WHEN DID YOU COME! intruuuuuuder. hahahha

MABEL!!: ahhahaha you're welcome! hope you had your fill. hahaha. oh and mum bought us more food when she got home. :DDDDD

miao: hahaha hello miao. hahah yeah i know lahh. haha dunno what came over me. "sudden realisation." hahaha

meiyan: hahaha meiyaaaaaaan. you always abandoning me man. pfffffft.>( hahaha kidding kidding I LOVE YOU TOOO. (((((((((:

hm short post before blogger dies.

ill post pics up some other time. i seem to suddenly have taken a lot of pictures. gramma's birthday, netties, granddad's birthday/nd. hahaha okay okay pictures for netties and nd/granddy's birthday another time lah.

i know this is quite a late post lah but i was just thinking bout it.

quite some time ago, meiyan told me she got accepted into nj. for some reason i got quite emo bout it? i dunno. i just did lah. cos like i dunno. but anyway. i asked her if she was gonna go then she was like dunno, but most probably yes cos she prayed and said that if God has a plan for her in nj, God would let her go through. i guess the decision ultimately is up to her.

then after that nat told me on friday (the one on fop) that she was gonna go for interview on saturday. then i was like. i dunno. i was sort of pissed lah. though i know im really not in a position to be. cos its really their choice and stuff. but anyway. i smsed her on saturday and she said the interview went well so i think shes got a pretty high chance of getting in and she probably is going to ip.

then like during the musical stef told me she's going to london to study. that one is confirmed. and she's leaving in bout 3 weeks. but she said she'll be back quite often.

siiiiiiiiiiigh. i really dunno what got me so upset. i really dont want them to go. i mean, its not like im gonna see them everyday anyway or anything, but its just i dunno. i just dont want them to go. like for meiyan. i only got to know her last year during like swim meet but we're quite close and stuff and she's just been there for me so much. i dont want her to go. i dunno lahh. i just dont.

then nat. im not say super super close to nat but we talk and when we talk, we talk quite a lot and its just i dunno. itll be different without her i guess. and argh its just so irritating lah. so many people have already walked out of my life lah. i know its not as though im not gonna ever see them again or anything or not talk to them, but we'll definitely drift right! and like. itll just be like awkward. argghhhhhh.

then stef. london. all the way to uk. hm. abandoning all her friends behind. i know we dont like meet up as much but we talk a lot on msn especially at night and its like once she gets to london, the time there will be different then we wont get to talk as much anymore and ahhh. i dunno lah.

so many people have left/are leaving me)))): i know im being super selfish and spoilt but i really dont want them to go lah. and suyi is also leaving. she says she may leave next year cos she doesnt wanna take chinese. i dont think its a good enough reason to leave right. and once everyone leaves i wont get to see them as often anymore. ))))))):

AHHHHH.

maybe I should be the one leaving huh. no one would realise anyway.

koped from ian

'What" will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

yay i love you mr. potatohead. hahah since youll be the one missing me. hahahah

pffffft. so even my obituary hates me. anyway. it says:

"Evilly sulking around the neighbourhood, kathleen kwan died a hilarious death.

kathleen kwan will be terribly missed by Mr. Potatohead."

hmph.

hmmmm nd celebrations! this year is the first year its been fun for me, actually. like really. but it was really really short though. we were dismissed at like 930? soooooo early. its like the early of earlys lah. yeah then after that i didnt what to do cos like seriously, might as well not have gone to school right. go for what. 4 hours? yeah then anyway. i decided to follow the netties out cos they were gonna have barbecue later and they needed materials so yes. no actually. joan and suyi didnt wanna go market and eat so they went btp first then evan, sam, jaime, tian, thiam, lyn and me went market. then after eating and everything we went to btp and they got their things and joan kept taking unglam shots of everyone. then we waited for suyis uncle for like 10 minutes and found out that suyi could only take 1 more person. what the heck lah. and it was the big car what. couldve taken more people right. but anyway. so the rest of us took bus up to suyi's house and while walking up i met stef and her friend. yeah then stayed at suyi's house a bit then left cos so sian. yeah then came home, ordered pizza and then didnt do much la. but whoa blogged a whole lot today. and slept quite a bit too. mmmmmmmmmmm.

man i ranted so much today i feel so bad. pfffft.
























































































































































































eh. dunno lah. bunch of rubbish shots man.

More Than Words - Extreme
Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
Its not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldnt have to say that you love me
Cos Id already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldnt make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

Now Ive tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close dont ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldnt have to say that you love me
Cos Id already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldnt make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

okay, so i was supposed to post yesterday, but i fell asleep. anyhow. gramma's birthday celebration! :D my gramma's 71. i just realised that my grandparents' age gap is quite far. like uhm. i dunno. almost 10 years? hm thats pretty freaky. but ooh my granny was real pretty when she was young. now she's like small and cute. hahah. so yeah, we went over to brookvale and yeah. it was so fun. haha i got pictures! :D



















hahah kelly and rachael. cousin. she's 6 this year. i wish she would have gone to mg man. oh well. haha.




















me and dawh! hahah




















the 5 3rd-generation kwan cousins. hahah we're all girls maaaan. hahha.




















us and gramma! hahah she's so cute. but shes never smiling in photos.




















seeeee what i mean! oh well. auntie ping see and mum! mum in white on gramma's right.



















me and jie! i still dont see the resemblance.



















again!




















sistersssss. haha now you can actually compare how similar we all look. so different lah.



















zara and rachael!



















me, dawh and zara!




















me and zara! she so chio here. hahah.




















gramma's cake! jie chose it.



















with candles. gramma's 71.



















lighted!




















hee hee i love this picture. gramma looks so cute and happy here.

























gramma again!



















WHOOOOO! hahaha



























cut cake!




















heh heh. dawh trying to cut the cake. ahhaha




















ahhaha what a sucky presenter. haaha


CAM-WHORING TIME



















cam whorers are out! me and rachael!




















again!




















an new addition! zara!



















and again!



















and again!



















and again! haha rachael being retarded.



















again!



















me and zara!

okay anyway. man so many pictures. hahah. okok. today. chapel. well, the practice was okay, but then when everyone came in and stuff, we actually screwed up a bit, but i guess its okay cos its all for God. yeah then we went down for music and hahahah lydia and i completely forgot bout the rubbish jap music. ahhaha. yeah then art was just i dunno. i barely got started lah. got no inspiration man. but anyway. after that life science. man i got sooooo angry at ms yeo cos she keeps holding us back for like recess and stuff and it gets annoying. but yeah. then like i got really emo during recess and for the rest of the day until chinese, in fact. then i thought bout a whole lot of junk. ahhh yeah. then like. after that i was just. emo. until chinese cos chinese i got back marks and it was gooooood. so that cheered me up.

yeah then after school we had geog meeting to discuss but we got like only a bit done. so i dunno how we're gonna be ready by next week man cos everyone is just so busy. cham lah. haha.

eh ill probably post geog stuff like tmr or sth lah. im too sian now. haha

aiyar my life is such a waste of time man. pfft.

omgggggg im breaking out in rashes man. wth. eh i just realised ive gotten tanner. :D hahaha sitting in the sun really really works if you wanna become black. like just sit under very very hot sun. like bout 3-5ish thereabout. then you become black. just sit and dont move. haha.omg seriously maaaaan. i didnt know i get tan so easily. ahhaha. that aside.

MR ONG IS A NUT. like omg. he wants us to restage the musical just for 2 scenes? omg nooooo.

"[Lot's Wife and Stairway to Heaven] were very difficult to take well without preparation. Too bad I was taking photos on the last performance or else I would have gone back to retake these two scenes. Another problematic scene photography wise was Golgotha. Anyone wants to restage the musical again?"

like omggggggggg nooooooo. haha as in, i miss it, but i really dont quite wanna experience it all over again. like. i would want to carry on experiencing it, but i dont wanna do it all over again. if that makes sense lah. oh well. wth.

and some mg primary girls are plain freaky. like omggggg seriously man. like go away goooo awayyyyyyy. i dont wanna talk to you man. omg its ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i dunno. hahah. just scary. i dunno. haha.

but anyway. fop! ahahhah today was such a funny day man but it was kinda wasted. cept for like 7 till 10 pm. ahha. somehow i felt last year's one was better. more breakthrough for me. but maybe cos i like dont know the people doing worship so like i didnt really know the songs. but OH WELL. (: to God be the glory. it was still fantastic anyhow. i did cry but very slightly.

okay i shall ATTEMPT to do this systematically. hm. stef msged me in the morning during her meeting and both of us were so indecisive (why i keep spelling the word wrongly ah) then we didnt know what to do and stuff. but in the end we met up at ps at bout 3 then we went down to indoor. omggg we got there at like 3.30 and the place was practically EMPTY. like, there was hardly any queue at all. then we didnt know what to do the whole time. we just like sat around and talked and stuff.oh and we went to get drinks. yes. haha yeah then we just waited and waited and waited till they opened the gates. i think this year's one is like better in the sense that its more systematic cos like only a limited amount of people can go in at a time and stuff. and they let you save seats too! hahaha thats the coolest man. ahahah. anyway.

yeah then like we were just there and stuff. but i was quite unfocused especially during the sermon. like my mind just kept drifting off. i dunno. but i was really really tired. so yeah. then after fop i was hungry so we went to newton food centre yeah then like mum, dad and jie kept asking me to go home. haha i feel so loved. :D haha yeah then after i ate, we cabbed back. like omgggggg the cab fare is like super super super ex lahhh. omgggggg. haha.

stupig giselle pang seh us. and i think cheo is super mad at me now cos she say i betray her and i cheated her and i dunno what. but im quite worried lah. oh man i hope she aint too pissed man. crapppp. but i thought she and nat were going with gis and gis was meeting us so i really didnt know what was going on. plus, she didnt reply my message earlier in the day lahh. pfshhh. im feeling so horrible now.

church tmr but i cant sleep cos kelly's taking up the whole couch's space. hm back on the floor again tonight. danggggg.

ahh chapel on monday. i hope it all goes well man.

hm i shall update bout yday too.

lesse.

actually nothing much really happened lahh. just that i stayed back with dan and cheo then like i spoke to cheo for really really long on christianity and stuff. im just really hoping and praying that she will believe and accept Christ. everyone please pray for her k!(((:

then today! uhm. today was quite slack lahh. chinese test took up the first 2 periods, it was quite a killer. passable, but wont score, i guess. then pe. pe was frisbee and i got super super bored. haha. oh well. then recess. recess i talked to yanka and well, we just like agreed on a whole lot of things lah. as in, we had like discussions and everything, bout the people in our level and stuff. mmhmm. then history, mrs pandian went through test paper and touched a bit on spp. hahahahha. then math. math was okay lah. but i was just really shagged by that time. so then after that was ve, where we had chapel practice. we're still super messed up, but at least we got somewhere. (: so thats good. well, its all in God's hands anyway. if He means for it to be this way, then so be it. maybe He's trying to show us something. mmhmm.

yeah then after school i couldnt find meiyan, but i found nat then i just stayed with her lah. yeah and stuff. then we talked and well, the talk with yanka and nat made me think bout the friendships that i have. i know that some are genuine and stuff but im not sure which ones. and its making me question quite a lot lah. like, are some of my friendships one sided? its i dunno. difficult to really be sure i guess. but yeah. oh well. i guess if youre not meant to be, it wont happen right? yeah then after that went home with char.

mmhmm. fop is going on now even as im blogging. haha hope tonight's one will be blessed. (: it started bout 15 minutes ago? mm. i should be going tmr unless something unforeseen happens and we all like die or something. hahaha. touch wood. hahah. but yeah.

hm i wanna go ultraviolet too but i dunno if there are tix left and omgggg i have no one to go with. pffshh im such a loner. oh well.

hm kay today was pretty okay. home ec was like. okay. shepherd's pie. havent eaten mine yet. but then like in the midst of home ec jaime called me for house comm photo taking. omg so sudden lah then i had to leave mel. oh man. i felt so bad lah. i didnt really want to take lor really. but anyway. then math, mrs chen was in a pretty good mood lah. yeah then like recess was kinda fun lah. we chose songs for chapel and im suddenly leading chapel now. but im sorta losing my voice, so i dunno. oh well, its all for God anyway. (:

then uhm history we got back our test papers. omggg divya got like 18/20 lah. like wth man. yeah then like i think mrs pandian was gonna go through, but we had to go for photo taking. ahhah. yeah. then im like i the same position as last year lah. cept that this year im still in the middle row, but im right smack in the middle. like literally. im the only one facing straight ahead. the rest are all at an angle lah. pffffft. and last year me and grace were in the middle. but hahah so weird. like omg seriously. haha then like before the photographer took the picture, gis said something and omg both of us started laughing so hard lah. it was so funny. hahahah. yeah then we took informal where everyone just squished together and stuff. then we took candid and omg that is like the funniest lah. like cos nic and gang went to the floor, but me and gis were like stuck, so i told gis to do the bimbo thing with me since she's my bimbo partner and omg she actually did it lah!

omggggggg so funny. hahah i cant believe she actually did it man. ahahha man i love her. hahahah. i cant really describe it lah. i see if i can upload the picture once i buy them. hahaha but omg so funny lah. haha. yeah then after photo taking we watched tkam! it was coolio. pretty funky lah. but OMG STILL HAVENT FINISHED YET LAHH. yah then we had pw. it was omg so boring and i cant stand the trainer lah. she annoys me like crap.

but anyway. drama was pretty slack. we had to like do characterization and whatnots and dunno what lah. yeah then i hung around with cheo, baka, kim and abby. then we left at bout 6, went to swiss club ave to see jess! omg jess is so cute lah really. shes super hyper and super frisky. ahha and she kept licking me. yeah then i helped baka with her 3 zhoujis (hahaha i have so much work still man i rock) and left. yeah. basically. and im like falling asleep but i still got workkkk. bleargh i hate myself. i shall permanently be left on busy. haha.

omgggg so much homework due tmr and geog wapiang chong wants to kill us seriously.

hahaha zomg my dad just like whined. wth?!

ehh.

sometimes you dont realise how delicate a relationship can be until you put your toe on it.

hmm kayaking today! :D im really really happy. okay, wait, lets start from morning.

uhm. went to school okay and everything. we watched tkam! omg the show is actually really quite nice. their accents are like coolio man. like really. its like really old english/british accent. its funky. ahah yeah then uhm mrs chen was really really nice today. well, not like really, but nice enough. :D haha yeah in fact, most of the teachers were nice today. maybe cos i barely spoke to them, but besides the point. mmhmm. then everything was pretty brief. today was an okay day. yeah then after that went to lesleys house to change and everything, then we headed down to macritchie omg so rushed larh. yeah then we met our coach/instructor and got out kayaks and equipment and stuff then we got theory lesson and then we KAYAKED.((((((((((((: hahahha omg it was really so cool.

like i was the first one to get into the water then like i paddled out into the reservoir and omg, it felt like i could sit there forever doing nothing lah. like really, cos there's a light breeze, and it feels really comfortable on the waters, and its just so relaxing. its amazing. then like when the water reflects the light, its so brilliant. the reflection is like wow. its like diamonds. like omg. its really so nice. i wish i had a camera then. yeah then omg a kayak (or at least the ones we used) is soooo super heavy lah. my shoulder is like aching like crap now. like owwwwwww. but when i was kayaking and at like okay speed, the wind like rushes through your hair and its like wowwwwww. its so relaxing and de-stressing. haha. yeah pretty cool. and i learnt how to carry a kayak (properly) all by myself! im so proud of myself. :D haha but its heavy though. and i learnt how to kayak properly.

the best thing is, its all paid for. which means we dont pay a SINGLE CENT. cept transport home. but like, to get to macritchie from school, the renting of equipment, use of place, hiring fees for instructor, we dont pay AT ALL. its coolio. haha we just get to enjoy the experience and learn new skills. pretty cool. yeah then mr khoo and ms su went with us. i think ms su is really strange. she gets like very violent mood swings. haha its kinda weird. but shes very funny. and omg mr khoo has a tummy. hahahahah. it was like bulging lah. but anyway. yeah. then it was over quite fast. then like on the way home, when i was on the bus, i started getting emo cos i started thinking bout the day and i thought bout bat. i dunno why. i just did.

like cos the first thing i did when i got to school was ask gis to put my phone in her locker, but she didnt want to so i asked bat, and she was like OH OKAY and omg i felt sooooo super duper bad after that cos like, i made bat make an extra trip just to put my stupid phone in her locker. then i was like listing bat's qualities:

patient
kind
sincere
encouraging
clever
funny
nice
generous
helpful
hardworking

AIYAR SHE'S JUST EVERYTHING IM NOT LARH. then i was like, why cant i be someone better. ive only freaking got bad qualities lahh. im none of those listed above. pffffft. see, im terribly impatient, im awful, im fake, im stupid, im boring, im selfish, im lazy, im sarcastic, im unhelpful (i dunno, i cant find an antonym so OH WELL) and my encouragements put people down instead of well, encourage them. seee im such an idiot lah. and im such a mean person. and then i started comparing everyone in my class to me (which i really shouldnt have done, but crap) and like, EVERYONE has like at 2 good qualities bout them EXCEPT ME. walau. im such a shithead lah.

i really feel like crap now. and i was high like, 2 seconds ago.

im feeling so effing useless and wth man. im such an idiot. heh. i dont think anything can cheer me up now.

you dont have to, angel mae.

omg today is the earliest ive gone home in 2 years. (: im proud of myself.

this is a really really late post. but heck. 1 week. my record. even my hiatus wasnt that long. haha. but anyway. musical is over. im like, glad cos theres nothing to worry bout anymore, but im missing it. like, nic and gis too. ahha and we stole gabriel's feathers. haha. quite funny lah. but yeah i think it was overall a great job, so well done! i would do my thanks now, but got no time. this is a brief update. (:

yepp then omg the worst thing and the best thing happened to me this morning. like at midnight around there or something. ahha. yeah omg like seriously. ahha but its very private, so i shant mention it. but i cried. haha. cried really really bad. aiyar, it was mainly my fault lah. for being so insensitive and stupid, but im glad its all over and its even better than before. omg, its been on my mind all day lah. i cant seem to get it outta my head. EH. but anyway.

thanks for always being there! like really. thanks for being so patient and caring and encouraging. im really so sorry i hurt you without realising it. i didnt know it would cause such a great impact. you matter a lot to me, honestly. and you're not insignificant. im really glad you confronted me and that its all over and we're a lot closer now. closer than before! ahha and yeah, like you said, after what we went through last night, its soooooo much that we cant possibly fall out anymore. ill always remember that night k. and im really really glad you think we're close. its cool. thanks for everything. and i mean, everything. ahha. im just really really glad we managed to resolve it, or i think we'd just turn enemies and hate each other for life. i really really treasure the times we spent together, and i really meant it as a joke. haha i love you for caring so much about me and thank you so much for telling me cos i know it takes a lot of courage. and im really surprised that you know me so well but sometimes it seems like i barely know you. i really should spend more time with you hm? haha. its just been really fun with you around. thanks so much for everything.

that aside, i need to rant.

omg i really cant believe how annoying you are. i mean, why cant you just be there for me for at least once? just once. thats all im asking. ONCE. but no, you NEVER are. youre always coming up with some stupid excuse to not listen to me. when im trying to talk to you. so much for all that ill be there for you shit. i really wish sometimes i wasnt so patient. especially with you. when you deserve it the least. why am i always the one listening and you the one talking? why cant you just shut up for once and listen to me? you dont even let me tell you advice. its really annoying. you dont know what ive done for you and you dont appreciate it. and when i finally try to talk to you, you come up with some stupid excuse to not listen to me. i dont need a friend like you. i think im better off without a friend like you, in fact. then i wont have to worry and think so much and get emo over nothing. i really wish youd just go away. i wish i didnt know you. i wish you didnt come into my life. leave me alone. just go away. youre caring so much more bout popularity than you treasure your friendship. whats the point of carrying on this friendship then. id rather not.

go figure.

no, its two completely different people. the first one has been there for me for as long as ive known her, the second one hasnt. pffffffft. i hope you find out who you are.

no joan, btw, its not you.

oh pfsh. go and die. whoever you are.

eh if i sleep later than 1130 tonight, i wouldnt have rested slept for 24 hours.

omg omg omg. i hate flim. i mean, she tells us after chapel today that we're doing next week. thanks a whole lot, you know. omg how are we supposed to get ready! omg lahh. but anyway, congrats to 2m for a successful chapel! it was good, praise the Lord!(:

hm this is what i have left to do by tonight:
1. key skills in compre prac paper 8
2. home ec
3. chinese ying yong wen
4. chinese worksheet
5. research for art.

reasonably okay, im just really glad i finished geog and lit. though lit was not exactly the best, but yeah. got back physics today. 18.5. average lah. omg and i got so irritated today lah omg. ms yeo is awful. she refused to let us go for recess! like omg, just to finish her practical. and she even ate into physics! how mean. and we were all like starving and everything. pfffffffft.

okay, maybe not all. i wasnt. but its my class. so yes. but flim let us go for 1/2 hr. the nicest thing shes ever done. hahaha. man im mean. but anyway. yes. omg omg omg i have to complain about math. like omg, you know they deleted the heymath set language and notation lessons! like omg i havent seen them lah! so now meiyan has to tutor me. pfsh. i feel so stupid. but thank you popssssssssss. :D yay i love you.

JOAN I HOPE YOU ARE OKAY IM HERE IF YOU NEED TO TALK OKAY PLEASE CHEER UP COS I LOVE YOU!

heh. now im pissed off at a few people. eeerreeeeeeeeetateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeng. pfshbeyewrkniflamsdohesfoerkrt. bleargh.

eh kayaking tmr<3! ahhah im excited. (: photo-taking on wednesday and drama elections (hopefully) on wednesday tooo. chinese test on friday and physics test in about 2-3 weeks time. ahha. oh well.

i wish people's internets/wireless would work properly cos it really getting quite annoying seeing the pop ups. i see one like every 5 seconds and if im lucky, 6 seconds. haha okay so im exaggerating, but really! ahha. oh well.

STDLC OMG OMG OMG. mwehehhehehhe desmond hotness. haha.

ooh fop this weekend! dree wants me to go with her church but i dunno. may feel kinda weird and if i go, then id be missing meiyan's church for like 4 weeks. *gasp* ahhhh howwww. and i kinda wanna go on friday too cos its the first night but got no one to go with then sunday may be going with stef and gis but omg, i dont even know if i can go omgggggggg. die larhhhh. hahah oh well. its time to leave it to God. (:

its come down to this. its finally ending. no more stress, no more late nights, no more cues whatsoever. this week is THE week.

ahhaha. no lah. so drama. its just the musical. well, all the rehearsals and time and effort put into doing everything will pay off hopefully. (: this whole experience has just been so exciting. like really lah. i dont think anything else can give me the same memories. haha the whole musical has just been like. awesome. like wow. haha.


i dunno what to say. its just mixed feelings inside. im happy cos its finally going to be over and there wont be anything to worry bout. but im nostalgic at the same time cos i dont want it to end. i will definitely miss rehearsals and everything, the fun times and all. its just all been really great.

we had trial audiences yesterday. thought it was pretty good. haha hope the audience enjoyed it lah. and omg i almost cried yday lah after the voice warm ups. cos i just realised how close we were to the end and how soon everything is ending and how near the show is. memories just kind of came flooding back and stuff. ahhh.

oh well. all good things must come to an end. but im very very thankful for being able to be part of the production. its a rare opportunity. (:

stef is leaving really soon also. in like, a month. siiiiigh. i need to do my letters soon. maybe wednesday.

today was very very slack. completely no lessons at all. we had like this concert thingie after chapel, which was held in the quadrangle. and omg jukebox played! :D and i was thinking if they will play a lonely september and i was like probably not and i was walking back to class then omgomgomg they really played it! i was so super happy. like really. cos right now plain white t's is still quite underground (i think) so it was cool that they played it. and even knew the song, in fact. then meg nic and i went to kaciao them and omg the bass seems quite difficult to play hm. yeah. and of course, they performed far away. ahah. yeah then it was slack all the way after that. then i spoke a lot to nyam lah. mmhmm. not much.

I LOVE MY ANGEL(:

www.xanga.com/STDLC

eh. okay. im so tired. im really really tired. like ive never been so tired before. but im so happy. i dunno why. im just. happy. haha.

yday had rehearsal for open day. it was okay. i think soi did quite bad lah but nevermind. yeah then after as i was walking down the hill to the bus stop right, sackman's arm fell off okay! and i didnt realise till like much later! so i couldnt find his arm. =x so he has one arm less. pffffffft. oh then yday me and suyi were denting the stupid buckets for woman at the well. dent until i got blister lah. but yday's dinner was gooood. ahha kfc. yepp. got home at bout 9+.

then today! hm. lesse. racial harmony commemoration. it was okay lahh. just that i didnt really like the people who planned/organised it. mmhmm. but that aside. mrs chen was super super nice again today. and i fell lah! omg. im so dumb. like math was the only lesson we had cos mrs pandian didnt come and laoshi didnt come either. so yeah.

then after school, i had to dent the buckets more and had to scrub them with tea leaves. it didnt really work lah. it turned out quite strange i think. but anyway. yeah then me and deborah did ropes for like 2 whole hours. omg. it sucked lah. yeah then i had to set up props and everything. then had evaluation at bout 5.30. hm... i shall not talk bout it lah. but yeah.

then run! we did 2 runs today. i feel very accomplished! :D haha i dunno why. i was just quite happy during today's rehearsal lah. ahha yepps. and during golgotha my blister broke! it was so gross and painful lah. then like my skin is like sticking out now. haha. im very very tired. got home at like 12+. but ive seriously never felt happier. not say happy. more like uhm. joyful. yes. haha. but i really thank God for granting upon me the experience and everything. cos its really great. like. i dunno how to say lah. the whole thing is just different. the whole feeling. and i think ill cry during curtain call. haha. cos so much time and effort has been put into this production by everyone and although everyones like complaining, but i know they want rehearsals lah. ahha

todays golgotha was good also. im really really very happy. like this whole entire week has just been so great. there werent any majorly bad events. like even if wednesday's rehearsal wasnt the best. its still not that bad. so im very happy. im just so glad its like the end of the week. im so tired. tmr gotta go back for open day. then sunday got rehearsal again. monday and tuesday are like... sort of my rest days lah. yeah then wednesday - saturday will be rehearsal and finally, the show. im really excited. and scared. and worried. and in a way, relieved i guess.

this musical has been so great lah. ive gotten to know so many people and everything. its just been fantastic. i got to work with professionals (though they're not the nicest people) i learnt like "stage tricks" (haha) and yeah. so many things. the memories and good times and bad. ahha. mmhmm. must treasure the rehearsals man. (:

okay okay i better stop here or id get really emo.

I've never been so alone
And I've never been so alive

eh.. the recent days have been okay. hm my apple crumble is nice. hahah. yes anyway. nothing much has happened cept for a few highlights. (:

pirates 2! its really really good so if you have the chance, please do go watch it. its really funny. may be a tad bit too lengthy though, but overall, its goood. went with san, joan, suyi, za, lyn, jaime, evan and tian. yeah netties and me. so extraded. but anyway. yeah. i dont think i should watch movies with people cos id just annoy them, so ill go watch alone next time. ahha. but what the heck. yepp.

oooh and i got to know sackman! :D he's my new friend. must meet him soon yeah! hes really really cute. (:

then tuesday. well, nothing much happened. just that i got very emo. but it doesnt matter anymore. sackman was there for me. (:

then today. hms. well. after school, went to lesley's place, then went back to school for rehearsal, todays run was okay lah. quite average. as usual. but i think the standard is like dropping.

why i like rehearsals: cos it means i dont have to go home so early, but then cos of rehearsals i go home so late. plus, you get to do all the coolio things that other people dont. ahhahahah

why i dont like rehearsals: GOT NO TIME TO DO HOMEWORK. ALWAYS KANNA SCOLDED ONE. MORE WORK! RAWRRRR. ALWAYS SEE XXXXXXX XXXX XXXXXX SUCKING UP TO SENIORS EW MAKE HER GO AWAY.

I MISS YOU MELIN! COME BACCCK!

ooh did i mention that melin actually sent me all that we needed album by plain white t's? like the whoooooole album! 13 songs! :D im a happy kid THANK YOU MELIN I KNOW YOU LOVE ME TOOOOOO ((((((((:

the songs are like nice and nice and nice. (:

mmhmm. many people have been very nice lately. well, except for me lah. ive been pretty dao these days i think. dunno whyyyy. hm. but its not smart to approach me when im like dao and stuff lah duh.

mrs chens been seriously so awfully nice it scares me sooooo bad. talk more to bimb now, shes actually very funny. ahaha. yeah and ive been talking quite a lot to hilary for some reason. im like starting more relationships but losing the others. ahhhh i suck.

head prefect elections! i shant mention who i voted for. though i think its quite predictable. im glad i voted for her in the end. results on thursday morning. yayyyyyy.

okay i really should be doing my work now, but heck. hahah okay okay just a bit more.

hm today during rehearsal i got pretty emo. i dunno why. but i just did. i thought a lot. like a lot. and i teared. but i dont think anyone saw. but when i teared the second time i was almost discovered. like i started tearing then i kept my head down then stef had to come and sit beside me and i was like OHHH CRAAAAAAAAP. and jo had to sit on the other side. i was like OMG NO. NO NO NO NO. then i miraculously stopped. ahhahaha. but yeah. okok id better stop.

later~

AHHHH FREEEEEEAAAAAAAAK

stupid camp video is too big and so i cannot burn it into a cd, cannot save into thumb drive and CANNOT EVEN UPLOAD TO YOUTUBE!

ahhhh like 918mb for 4 1/2 freaking minutes?! a bit big right! oh maaaaaaaaan. anyone got dvd! i think video got too many transitions liao. pfsh. anyway. its very nice. so thats all that matters. ahha.

granduncle just passed away. not very close to him though and barely remember him.

yeah its all just very vague. and i got very pissed at my aunt yday.

never mind. i cant be bothered to post it. but i learnt sth yday.

you think you really know someone.

but at the end of the day, you find out that you still dont know who they really are.

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did

blogger just deleted my post (again) out of its own accord, so i shall update another time. but meanwhile...

i have completely fallen in love with plain white t's. theyre such a fantastic band. like seriously. its haaaawt. a lonely september is my new favourite song! :D and there's hey there delilah. they're all really really nice. hahaha.




A Lonely September

I'm sittin' here all by myself
just tryin' to think of something to do
Tryin' to think of something, anything
just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out
'cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back
but I know you did

I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself
that you're not the one for me
But the more I think, the less I believe it
and the more I want you here with me
You know the holidays are coming up
I don't want to spend them alone
Memories of Christmas time with you
will just kill me if I'm on my own

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back

I know it's not the smartest thing to do
we just can't seem to get it right
But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight
one more chance tonight

I'm sittin' here tryin' to entertain myself with this old guitar
But with all my inspiration gone it's not getting me very far
I look around my room and everything I see reminds me of you
Oh please, baby won't you take my hand
we've got nothing left to prove

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back
but I know you did

And I didn't mean to meet you then
when we were just kids
And I didn't mean to give you chills
the way that I kiss
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did
Don't say you didn't love me back
'cause you know you did
No, you didn't mean to love me back
But you did

okay i really shouldnt be doing this now, but i havent posted for 4 days. hm...

okay first off, happy birthday melin and tricia (7th), meryl jie (10th) and val (12th). and tmr is andree's birthday. oh dear. siiiiiigh. ok nevermind. we shall leave tmr's worries till tmr.

okay okay. had rehearsal on monday. wasnt the greatest, wasnt the worst. but i think we're doing downhill cos there were an awful lot of notes. hm. yes. then got home, bathed, unpacked, did work and slept at around 1+. then yday... yesterday. hm. had oac. we didnt do much lah, did more of admin stuff. we cleared up the board and came up with a new design for it and i think hopefully we're gonna get a oac shirt! :D im real excited. haha. cos that would mean oac is like, an actual cca, and we're not just going cos we HAVE to, but cos we CHOOSE to. yepp. then got home, bathed, unpacked, waited for karen kwan to finish using the computer at 930 so i could finally get started on my work and i barely had it for an hour when kelly needed it again. so i waited and waited and got it back at 11+. then finally i had peace. so i did lit, pw and eng. then i realised:

i didnt have pw the next day cos of swim finals.

)@$(#%(#%^($&^^&*^%O bleargh. and i spent so much time on it!

we didnt do the lit presentation, english is due on thursday.

im so disorganised oh dear. but anyway. yeah slept at 230.

then today!

went to school as per normal, had school as per normal, blah blah blah, then left at bout 1230 for swim finals. swim finals were pretty ok lah. it was really boring and hot and all at first, but after all that, it was really quite okay. saw mag, meixi, rachael, kaye, marcus and nicholas there. and some other people who look vaguely familiar, but then again, not really. but anyway. yeah. cheered like siao lah with yummy. ahah. results werent too bad. cdiv came in second for relay, bdiv came in fourth. jasmine came in 3rd for sth i cant rmb. but anyway. yeah. then went home and yes.

so what do i have to do by tonight. hm

1. study history
2. study chinese
3. ying yong wen!
4. research for art
5. and a lot of other homework which i cannot rmb and cannot be bothered to type.

i need to shit

what do i need to do tmr

1. camp video
2. transport dresses to drama store

ahh i dont rmb anything anymore oh dear.

never mind. i shall just forget bout it.

hm. today went for rehearsal. it was like okay, not very good, not very bad. we didnt have melin and gis and the seniors so we were seriously lacking in manpower. but we managed to pull through and we had an addition! jo! haha. ya. then after rehearsal went to mel's place and then met ruth then went down to trinity.

then we met meiyan and went in, and i must say, their church is amazing. the people there are like really friendly and nice and they all welcome you so you dont feel like an outsider. and the people there are really spontaneous too! i really enjoyed myself lah. then after ignyte service i joined them for fuel and the way they do it is really great cos they have like bible study on the different books of the bible. i had 1 timothy part 2. it was quite good, cos like they go into detail and they give us examples and its an interactive study. so it was fun. and the people there are just very friendly and welcoming. yepp. and they're so united and bonded.then i saw delise! mabel's friend. haha at first i didnt recognize her. i thought she looked familiar then i rmb i saw her at mabel's house and we played speeeeeeeeed. or was it bridge. oh well. but i saw her.

yeah then their lessons are so fun that 1 1/2 hours seemed so short. haha. yeah then after fuel i went for dinner with ruth at black canyon and she kept wanting to stab and kill her chicken. haha. it was very amusing. haha. yepp. then after that i came home. mmhmm.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

okay i am seriously gonna fail all my tests. history was so screwed up. i didnt know how to answer like, the first question. oh craaaaaaaap. ahhhh.

oh well. i shall have to mentally prepare myself over the weekend. theres rehearsal tmr, and then i may be going down to giselle/meiyan/xianwen's church after that. but im not too sure. yepps. just hope everything turns out okay.

hm. what happened today! after school, FINALLY handed in pw. or else ms tay sure kill us. then i went downstairs and kanna attacked by suyi, joan, somewhat thiam and san and they asked me to go out with them to east coast for melin's birthday thing. but i was already going out with cheo so oh well. yeah then we went out, but me and dani took cab, then we met the rest at kobayashi and had lunch. then after that we were supposed to go watch a movie, but decided against it and went to joy's house in the end. then we were like wondering what to do and stuff then we decided to watch horror movie so we watched the doll master. it was quite cool lah, not as freaky as i expected, maybe cos of the atmosphere also. but anyway. it was a pretty good show. ahahha. then we met sam, joy's friend. mmhmm. she's quite nice, studied in australia, but apparently she quit school. so much freedom. haha but shes nice lah. yeah then she showed me the other videos they had and then we watched white chicks. we were watching halfway then kim's mother came so me cheo kim and claire left. haha yeah then i came home. quite boring lah cos we didnt plan or anything. yepp.

oh well. i need to like go to school early tmr but i really dont wanna and i should work on pw now.

thanks rae! really appreciate it. (: like, honestly. thanks so much.

and thanks anonymous, whoever you are.(:

gosh. im feeling really bad. the past few days have just been like. bad. im really so glad that this week is a short week.

lets see what happened during the week. its been so hectic.

monday went for syf (read previous post) and like had quite a lot of things to do, so i had like 2 cups of coffee to keep me awake, but it was like wayyy too much. i only fell asleep at 5.15 and woke up at 6. it was kinda bad. so i was like really really tired and stuff.yeah.

tuesday. hm. had rehearsal. melin and nicole couldnt attend. so we covered for them. although judy said it was an okay run, i know we can do so much better that just...that. i mean, its a really good show, and we're really wasting it. luckily jon didnt go or we'll just all be in trouble. it was quite a fast run, ended at like 830, debriefed until bout 9 plus and then went to change, clear props blah blah blah. then went home, had to like finish homework and study history and all that, slept at around 2+. mmhmm. yepp. and like i was still very tired lah.

wednesday. history test postponed, i was so happy. cos that means i had more time to study. it was just this huge load off. then drama sec 4 farewell. it was so screwed up. we had like no food, no games, no nothing. like all the games were all impromptu, everyone was asking me where the food was cos they were hungry and stuff, it was just so bad. and i felt really bad cos we didnt plan it properly and it sucked lah. it was just. bad. i dunno. but i felt it was better than last year's. drama is like falling apart. yeah then we had like a lot of leftovers for ice cream, so xiang, krystle and i waited with ms tan for the netties to finish training then we gave them ice cream. then i went back, did work and i was supposed to study for life science and math but i fell asleep at like 11. yeah but then i woke up at bout 3.30 then i studied and then rested until my mum woke us up again. so i like had 4 half hours. not too bad, really.

thursday, aka, today. today was quite bad lah. life science test first period, i kinda screwed it up, seriously think i failed, then had math test, im mentally prepared already. but math was really like quite bad lah cos i didnt know how to do the second page and that would mean that half my marks would be emitted already. i really felt like crying. then i went to the comp lab during recess to ATTEMPT to work on the video for opening, and i found out that i was like blacklisted from the comp lab and i was banned. wth. i really didnt know what was going on. i was super confused lah. then physics pract wasnt very good, geog was just boring. then i was like falling asleep during grammar and i got really quite irritated. then after that i was pretty moody and now i feel so bad cos i was very uhm... in a way, strict with grace and i ignored her most of the time. i was quite dao lah, in general. but i was really tired and there was just this whole lot of things swirling around in my brain and i cant seem to work them out. and today, omg, after we completed the video, i was creating a video file, the stupid thing took forever to create and then the lab person said the lab was going to close so i didnt manage to create it. i was so pissed off. like seriously. and then ms kek told me she was gonna put jo in charge of bamboo courtyard for the musical but i already told stef she was in charge and now i think stef's like pissed at me. and im feeling really bad lah cos i was the one who said she was going to be in charge then now shes not. omg. i really feel so bad and i know how she feels lah. i dunno. im just really confused.

tmr cheo wants to go out. i dont mind, i just really hope that i wont be too tired. then saturday there's rehearsal again.

im just really happy that a lot of things are over and i wont have to think bout them anymore. not for some time, at least. like, sec 4 farewell is done, no more rehearsals till saturday, the only remaining test for this week is history, tmr is half day, the video is completed, just need to convert it. im really so relieved. this week is just. man. its just so different. i dunno. but its a whole lot off my shoulders. i can breathe again. although of course there are things that are still bothering me, but its really a lot less and i really wanna thank God for bringing me through the week and being there for me. he's taken my glass of water from me this week. (: well, its a really small cup now. haha. i can finally laugh. although i feel like crying. im really just. so tired. i dont wanna think. hmm. my emotions are just like... mixed. i know what im supposed to do, but i havent got the motivation to do it ahhh.... okay okay.

i really need to cry. pfsh. i wish i wasnt so weak.

man i felt so insignificant and unwanted today. like an outcast. i didnt know why. maybe its cos i dont have anyone to go for recess with, maybe its because half the time im alone wondering what to do next. i dunno. but i was just. really quite down. like there's just no one i can pour out my feelings to, no one's there for me. like, it was as though it didnt matter if i existed or not. and i was just crying in class cos i was feeling so down. felt like i didnt matter to anyone. no one cared what happened to me.

the insignificance of me.

and take the musical, for example. it really wouldnt matter if i was there or not. jonathan can easily find someone to replace me if i wasnt there. someone else who was free could easily take over my duties and responsibilities. i dont do much anyway. no one bothered bout me. or so it felt.

i dunno man. im just feeling so insecure. like no one remembered me. no one would cry for me or anything. i mean, i know its really bad to think so negatively, but i cant help it. i just...feel that way.

everything i do isnt appreciated. no matter how much effort i put into doing something, its never appreciated.
if its not appreciated, then its wrong. and i get scolded. whats the point of getting me to do the job when you're going to scold me in the end. i think its ridiculous.

well, doesnt matter anyway. i wont ever be recognised.

i want to cry. shows how bloody weak i am, doesnt it.

argh. i hate myself.

POINTLESS LITTLE CREATURE.

OH GOSH!

i am sooooo tired. i spent like almost 4 hours working on the stupid dracula script (which really sucks but nevermind) ahhhhh

plus, my group sucks. arh heck.

okay i shall update bout yesterday.

syf. went to trinity christian centre for shout your fame. i initially didnt wanna go cos i thought id be all alone and stuff, but after thinking for a long time and praying, i decided to go and see. and im glad i went. (:

took bus down and met ruth and nat and omg the church is really big. like really big. but anyway. we found seats and then it started and the people who joined can really sing! they're really quite good lah. and it was enriching and stuff. then after the competition, pastor gary gave a sermon, and his sermon touched my heart and i rededicated my life to God. (: it was really good. and i dont regret going.

mmhmm. but like 3/4 of the time i was having a really bad headache. but i thoroughly enjoyed myself. so yepp. and im still wondering if i should go on saturday. if im not too tired i guess i will. mmhmm.

this week's gonna be crazy. like really. got like 4 tests, life science, history, math and physics. life science we're supposed to be tested till like mitosis and meiosis and we havent learnt it yet and so im not sure if we're gonna have the test. yepp then there's rehearsal till like 10 tmr and history on wednesday so im wondering how im gonna study. yepp then theres math and physics on thursday. well, there's math but im not sure bout physics. then friday is half day, we end at 12, but i still gotta stay for rehearsal anyway, so not much of a difference. mmhmm. ahhhh tired tired tired. guess thats all.

i know, my life sucks.

MOE should ban CIP

AHHHHHH

shit i am one confused kid. like half the time i dont know what im doing. im just following blindly. im so easily influenced. i wish i was more original. pfsh. its getting to me and its annoying me.

today was all right. pretty slack. for some reason, school seems slack. like, we're not given tons of homework or anything. well, at least not 2h. started off with english, luckily we didnt have enough time to present dracula so we're doing it next week. phew. barely started on it. after english was double chinese. it was okay, lao shi got quite pissed at a few moments. but it was all right. then it was recess, stayed in class to finish up math and to work out drama sec 4 farewell stuff. then there was math, mrs chen was in a good mood again (well reasonably good anyway), and then physics which i think is fun and i think we're lucky to have gotten mr lim because he is really an okay teacher and he recognizes nic and me cos he suddenly started talking bout the musical and dunno what, and then geog where lyddie and i think mrs chong really likes mr lim but that aside, and where vicky's group presented (and ruth and su-lyn and almost everyone else got really annoying) and then lit which was slack as usual and then SCHOOLS OUT.

im so glad we dont have like 2 hours 15 minutes of flim. ahhhhh.

after school lydia and i went to have lunch and then went up for cip and found out that we only started at 3 so in order to complete our 2 hours we had to stay till 5 and it was really unfair because they made it 1/2 hour laterrrr. pfffffft. cip sucked lah. me and lydia took charge and slacked sooooo much. hahahahah. it was really very slack. but OH WELL. i hate cip. pffffffffffft.

teenage angst ):

i wish people would stop saying something and doing another. no, i mean saying they're gonna do something but dont do it. i wanna see someone who does it. maybe that'd inspire me more.

so now nat has 926 views and i still have 16. mmhmm.

SO.

nat has 891 profile views for her friendster profile.

i have 15.

15 views is my most.

nat's most is 1000+++.

i have 74 friends.

nat has 380 friends.

i have 7576 second degree friends.

nat has 33000 second degree friends.

i have 36 testimonials (i thought i had 27).

nat has 11701 testimonials.

HUMPH.

PFFFFT

PFSH

RAWR

BLEARGH

ARGH

UGH

NAWMPH

but i think my profile is cooler.

okay the 12 "KAT IS KOOOL :)" testimonials by nat dont count and the 16th profile view (by nat also) doesnt count either.

edit/ i think its such a waste to just post that. haha. so! i shall update!

well, school hasnt been too bad so far. a whole lot better than i expected, honestly. the pts are in, though im really not talking to them cos its just weird to, schools been okay, mr ong left for sports school (wth) and mrs ong left for i dunno where. we havent gotten any new teachers 'cept for pw, some ms tay person who seems okay, and mrs chen has been awfully nice and patient with us its scary. well, lets hope she keeps that up.

havent had rehearsals 'cept on monday and wont be having till next tuesday SO ITS A VERY LONG BREAK YAY(: yes yes i shall not be missing anything at all. nope. been aching and losing my voice over the past few days; i think im dying. haha. still need to do catching up with math, got recording on friday (yuck) and i had a very very weird dream but i shall not mention it lest im thought weird. haha. OH WELL. : D

hm hm what else. not much. OH! my cat almost broke a bowl last night! but the bowl is a very good bowl because it dropped from about a metre onto the marble floor and it didnt break! plus, its a GLASSSSSS bowl. hmm.... amazing eh. but anyway, it contained like sweets and all the sweets fell out and attracted ants. and my mum got really pissed and scolded my cat junnow when he miaowed for food. oh well.

mmhmm. really not much lah. im very very tired though and i do not know why! oh dear.

my foot feet is are peeling rotting. ew. i think they got too much water in them man. and its all coming out and peeling rotting my foot feet. hyuck.

i shall hum.

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
Maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

EH

i shall be in school in 12 hours time. pfsh

holidays seriously sucked. everyone else had fun. what did i do? go school, stay home, get sick. oh crap it all. and everyones gonna watch high school musical ON DISNEY CHANNEL WHERE IT IS CLEAR AND WHERE DO I WATCH IT? ON THE STUPID COMPUTER WHERE THE RESOLUTION SUCKS.

no offence joan.

ugggggh. seriously. why cant i have cable?! psh. piss off.

okay, so i was supposed to go over to char's but i doubt mum will allow.

ARGH.

well, 'tleast i watched it already. zac efron love!

okay. im still pissed off. argh. i hate school. i hate math. im gonna fail math. someone tutor me!

eh back to geog.

For You are holy
For You are holy
For You are holy, Lord

UGH.

man. schools gonna start in less than 48 hours. im looking forward to it. siiiiiiiiigh.

honestly. everyone's talking bout how this year's hols have passed so fast. i dont disagree and well, i say it too but. i dunno. its kinda getting boring. i have no idea what im talking bout. never mind.

im in my sick mode. my nose is absoutely killing me. i seriously dont wanna fall sick at this point of time man. ugh. sinus sucks. ahhhh

oh well. im feeling so nostalgic now. after blog hopping. which means i should blog hop less. ):

ahh. high school musical! haha its really not bad. haha the music is really simple though its nice. but, its disney, so yeah. oh well. zac efron! ahhaha

oh oh! and young americans! :DDDDDDDDD rodney scott! hotness. ahha. its a really nice serial. haha. lke seriously. ian somerhalder! ahhh. oh and kate bosworth is acting as lois lane in superman returns i think. shes ugly now. or so i think.

shes the man! haha james kirk! channing tatum! oh maaaaan. i got my fangirl fantasies again. haha. well, it helps me destress, not that im under a lot of stress right now though.

a whole bunch of others but they'd just bore you.

ahh the weather is killing me. sheesh.

One Last Breath

Please come now I think I'm falling
I'm holding to all I think is safe
It seems I found the road to nowhere
And I'm trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

I'm looking down now that it's over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out heaven save me
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

I'm so far down

Sad eyes follow me
But I still believe there's something left for me
So please come stay with me
'Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me
For you and me
For you and me

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

Please come now I think I'm falling
I'm holding to all I think is safe

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GISSY! :D
so glad i got to know you. you're such a nice person! haha. yeah no thanks for all the "kat you're such a bimbo!" though. haha. nah, its been really fun knowing you. keep your faith in God strong and continue to shine for Him! bimbo partner!((:

friendster bulletins are fun. haha. :D

10 fears...
[x] the dark
[ ] staying single
[ ] getting married
[ ] being a parent
[ ] giving birth
[ ] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[ ] closed spaces
[x] heights
[ ] cats
[ ] dogs
[ ] birds
[x] spiders and/or other insects
[ ] driving or being in cars
[ ] flying
[ ] being put to sleep (anesthesia)
[ ] flowers or other plants
[ ] being touched
[ ] fire
[ ] water
[ ] the ocean
[ ] pools
[ ] failure
[ ] success
[ ] germs
[ ] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] mice/rats
[ ] jumping from high places
[ ] snow
[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[ ] cemeteries
[ ] clowns
[ ] large crowds
[ ] demons or evil
[ ] crossing bridges
[ ] death
[x] hell
[ ] heaven
[ ] being robbed
[ ] being sexually assulted
[ ] men
[ ] women
[x] having great responsibility
[ ] doctors, including dentists
[ ] tornadoes
[ ] hurricanes
[x] being punished
[ ] diseases, including cancer and STD's
[ ] snakes
[ ] sharks
[ ] dinosaurs
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] poverty
[ ] ghosts
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains or railroads
[x] fear
[x] being alone
[x] losing my friends
[x] being blind to things
[ ] being deaf
[ ] growing up
[ ] being murdered in my sleep


CONFESSIONS(:
Mark your confessions:
[x] I'm afraid of silence.
[ ] I Talk A LOT when I get really nervous.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[x] I'm afraid of the dark.
[ ] I'm afraid of facing my back to open doors at night.
[ ] I can't sleep in a room if the door is open
[ ] I can't sleep in a room if the door is closed
[ ] I am afraid of gay or lesbian people.
[ ] I believe in true love.
[ ] I've run away from home
[ ] I listen to political music
[x] I collect comic books
[x] I shut others out when I'm sad.
[ ] I've stayed out all night.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[ ] I watch the news
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I love Disney movies.
[x] I am a sucker for green eyes.
[ ] I am a sucker for brown eyes.
[x] I am a sucker for blue eyes
[ ] I dont kill bugs
[x] I curse.
[ ] I have an "x" in my screen name.
[x] I've slipped and fell in public.
[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation
[ ] I love Spam....
[ ] I bake well
[ ] I have worn pajamas to class.
[ ] I have owned something from Abercrombie.
[x] I want a better job
[ ] Talked on a phone for 6+ hours.
[ ] I love Dr. Phil.
[ ] I like multiple people
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I am self-conscious.
[x] I love to laugh.
[ ] I have smoked a pack in one day.
[ ] I loved Lord of the Flies.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I have a lot of scars.
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I love chocolate.
[ ] I bite my nails.
[x] I am not comfortable with being me.
[ ] I play computer games when I'm bored.
[x] Gotten lost in the city.
[x] Thought of suicide before.
[ ] Seen a shooting star.
[ ] Had a menage a trois.
[ ] Gone out in public in my pajamas
[ ] Have kissed someone really strange....
[ ] Hugged a stranger.
[ ] Been in a bloody fist fight with someone of a diff. sex.
[ ] Been in a fist fight
[ ] Been arrested.
[x] Laughed and had some type of beverage come out of my nose.
[ ] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[ ] made out in an elevator.
[ ] Swore at Liberace.
[ ] Kicked a guy where it hurts on purpose
[ ] Been skydiving.
[ ] Been bungee jumping.
[ ] Gotten stitches.
[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
[x] Bitten someone
[ ] Been to Niagara Falls.
[x] Gotten the chicken pox.
[ ] Crashed into a car...
[ ] been to Japan.
[x] Ridden in a taxi.
[ ] shoplifted
[ ] Been fired.
[x] Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] Stole something from your job.
[ ] Gone on a blind date.
[ ] Had a crush on a teacher/coach.
[ ]Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] Been to Europe.
[ ] Slept with a co-worker, and/or employee.
[ ] been to New York
[x] Been married (haha)
[x] Gotten divorced (hahaha)
[x] Saw someone/something dying.
[ ] Have a list of people you want to kill.
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day.
[ ] Been to Canada.
[x] Been on a Plane.
[ ] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] Thrown up in a bar or club
[x] Eaten sushi.
[ ] Been snowboarding.
[x] Continued to care for someone sooo much even though you know you can't have them
[ ] taken a picture just for the sole purpose of putting it on myspace/friendster..
[x] Been ice skating
[x] Cried in public.
[ ] Walked purposely into traffic with your eyes closed.
[ ]been at a party and instead of giving out your phone number you give them your myspace name and say look me up
[x] liked someone even though you knew you shouldn't have.
[x] Thought of someone a lot lately.
[x] Hate the world.
[x] Love someone who doesnt realize it
[ ] have your cell phone permanently attached toyour hand/hip
[ ] cried over a guy/girl you didnt even go out with.


How mean are you?
[x] i think im gonna have a high score on this
[ ] i hate/dont talk to my parents
[ ] girls tell me all the time that they hate me
[x] i have cursed/said horrible things to someone
[x] i give people disgusting looks a lot
total: 3

[x] i took heads off dolls when i was little
[x] i have destroyed something valuable on purpose
[x] i insult people, at times
[x] most people suck
[x] i have thrown total tantrums
total: 5

[x] im known to have an attitude
[x] i get mad easily...sort of..
[x] i order people around
[ ] im known around my neighborhood as the kid everyone else doesnt want their kids hanging out with
[x]i've argued with a teacher
total: 4

[x] i can care less about school
[x] i love messing with other people's stuff
[ ] people tell me im conceited/stuck-up/self-centered
[x] i lie constantly
[ ] i yell daily...for fun
total: 3

[ ] i seem to always be in a fight with my friends
[ ] i would never risk my life for anyone
[x] i dont like smiling
[x] i know at least 3 people i would like to/havebeaten up..
[x] i love pranking people
total: 3

add up all the x's and multiply by 4. then you get your mean percentage.

OMG IM 72% MEAN. thats horrible. pfft. cannot! i must be nicer! >)


What are you?
[VOQUE]
Spend a half hour doing your hair? []
Go tanning? [ ]
Watch The OC/Laguna Beach? [ ]
Own something designer? [ ]
Go to the mall alot? [ ]
Like Paris Hilton? [ ]
Cell phone with fake/real diamonds? [ ]
Own an ipod/MP3 player? [ ]
Love Starbucks? [x]
Love flip flops? [x]
Total x's= 2

[GOTH]
Black=fave color? [x]
Ever thought about death? [x]
Wear chains? [ ]
Like heavy metal? [x]
Love Hot Topic? [ ]
wear black lipstick? [ ]
Are you pale? [ ]
Your hair is black? [ ]
Hate preps? [x]
Athiest/Satanic? [ ]
Blue, purple,red, green hair? [x]
Total x's=5

[PUNK/SKATERBOARDER]
Skateboard? [ ]
Wear plaid? [ ]
Love converse? [x]
Think you're different? [ ]
Hate MTV [ ]
Like to mosh? [ ]
Blue, purple,red, green hair? [x]
Love skater boys/girls? [ ]
Hate pink? [ ]
Hate rich kids? [ ]
Total x's=2

[NERD/LOSER]
Love computers? [x]
Like Star Trek? [ ]
Wear glasses? [x]
Get straight A's? [ ]
Never had a boy/girlfriend? [x]
Love reading? [x]
Have a curfew? [x]
Always do your homework? [ ]
Never cut school? [x]
Never drank? [ ]
Total x's= 6

[EMO]
Are you depressed? [x]
Have black rimmed glasses? [ ]
Like Dashboard Confessional? [ ]
Comb your hair in front of your face? [ ]
Cry a lot? [x]
Write sad poems? [ ]
Hate being called emo? [x]
Keep a journal? [x]
Ever wrote your own sad song? [ ]
Have a sad layout on myspace? [ ]
Total x's= 4

[GHETTO/GANGSTA]
Like rap? [ ]
Tag? [ ]
Say "nigga?" [ ]
Drink...? [x]
Wear rubberbands in your pants? [ ]
Swear a lot? [ ]
Have freestyle contests? [ ]
Ever said "fo shizzle?" [ ]
Been called a playa? [ ]
Wear converse with the tongue flipped out? [ ]
Total x's= 1

[JOCK]
play a sport?[ ]
wear a team uniform/jacket, etc once a month? [ ]
mention a team on your profile? [ ]
doing something active 4/7 days a week?[ ]
like to run? [ ]
run everyday? [ ]
watch soccer games on tv?[ ]
if you could, would you play your sport right now?[x]
Total x's =1

OMG I'M A NERD/LOSER. WTH?!


What does your name mean?

K- You like to try new things
A- Damn good in bed
T- You are the best in bed.
H- You have very good personality and looks.
L- You are so damn sexy *HAWT!!*
E- You're Super cool.
E- You're Super cool.
N- You have a BIG warm Heart

what the...

A- Damn good in bed
B-You are always fun when it comes to meeting new people.
C- You are wild and crazy
D- Damn good in bed.
E-You're Super cool.
F-People totally adore you
G-Love is something you deeply believe in.
H-You have very good personality and looks.
I-You have a nice ass ;p
J-Everyone loves you.
K- You like to try new things
L-You are so damn sexy *HAWT!!*
M-success comes easily to you.
N-You have a BIG warm Heart
O-You love foreplay
P-You are popular with all types of people.
Q-You are a hypocrite.
R- You're very talkative
S-People think you are so sexy
T-You are the best in bed.
U-You are really chill.
V-You are not judgemental.
W-You are very broad minded.
X- You never let people tell you what to do
Y-One of the hardest gangsters/rockers alive
Z- You're lovable


Angel Test
Get 30 points and below and you're considered an angel!

smoked before [ ]
drink alcohol before [x]
slept with someone of the opposite sex[x]
slept with someone of the same sex [x]
gotten into fights [x]
kissed someone of the opposite sex before[ ]
kissed someone of the same sex before [x]
had someone of the opposite sex in your room [x]
scold vulgarities [x]
bought porn [ ]
TOTAL: 7

taken drugs before [ ]
hate going to the doctors [ ]
lied to your parents [x]
lied to a friend [x]
snuck out of the house [x]
done something illegal [ ]
cut yourself [x]
hurt someone [x]
wished someone to die [x]
seen someone die [ ]
TOTAL: 6

missed curfew [x]
stayed out all night [ ]
eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself [ ]
been to a therapist [ ]
been to rehab [ ]
dyed your hair [x ]
received a ticket [ ]
been in a wreck [ ]
been to a club [ ]
been to a bar [ ]
TOTAL: 2

been to a wild party [ ]
seen the Mardi Gras [ ]
had a fight [x]
had a spring break in Florida [ ]
sniffed anything [ ]
wore black nail polish before [ ]
wore wrist bands [x]
wore t-shirts with band names [ ]
wore black eyeliner [x]
own a 50 cent CD [ ]
TOTAL: 3

hugged someone of the opposite sex[x]
hugged someone of the same sex [x]
gone out with someone of the opposite sex [x]
gone out with someone of the same sex [x]
stole something [x]
been too drunk to remember anything [ ]
blacked out [ ]
fainted [ ]
had a crush on your neighbour [ ]
had someone else sneak into your room [ ]
TOTAL: 5

snuck into someone else's room [x]
had a crush on someone of the same sex [x]
had gone and watched movies with friends [x]
dry humped someone [ ]
been called a sl*t [ ]
called someone a sl*t [x]
installed speakers in your car [ ]
broke a mirror [ ]
showered at someone of the opposites sex's house []
brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush[ ]
TOTAL: 4

consider Mac, Dre, e40 or Mistah Fabyour favorite rapper [ ]
seen an R rated movie in theaters [ ]
going out with friends to the mall [x]
skipped school [ ]
had an eating disorder [x]
had hurt yourself before [x]
gone to court [ ]
walked out of a restaurant without paying[ ]
caught something on fire [x]
lied about your age [x]
TOTAL: 5

owned an apartment [ ]
cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend [ ]
cheated with someone [ ]
got in trouble with the police [ ]
talked to a stranger [x]
hugged a stranger [ ]
kissed a stranger [ ]
rode in the car with a stranger [ ]
been sexually harassed [ ]
been verbally harassed [ ]
TOTAL: 1

met face to face with someone you met online [x]
stayed online for 12 hours straight [x]
talked on the phone for more than 6 hours[ ]
watched TV for 12 hours straight [ ]
been to a fair [x]
been called a bad influence [x]
been cursed [x]
prank called someone [x]
laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex [x]
cheated on a test(small test) [x]
TOTAL: 8

cheated on homework [x]
held hands with someone of the opposite sex [x]
wants to be dead [x]
cut yourself before [x]
hate yourself [x]
had a crush on someone 10 years older than you[ ]
had a crush on someone younger than you[x]
worn eyeliner [x]
skinny dipped [ ]
laughed at someone who was seriously hurt [ ]
TOTAL: 6

TOTAL SCORE: 47

whoa. i am SO not an angel. pfsh. >)

ahh. i'm bad kid. haha. oh well.

YES YES MY CONFESSIONS ARE ALL OUT.(:

AHHHH

1. zhouji
2. yue du bao gao
3. jian bao
4. read chinese book
5. heymath reading assignment 2
6. heymath online assignment 2
7. sa paper 1
8. sa paper 2
9. art
10. change sheets
11. musical props

PLUS!
12. home ec
13. pw

sheeeeeeeeeeet. well, at least i mangaed to finish a few. lesse. what do i have left.

1. yue du bao gao (which i have no idea whatsoever what we're supposed to do)
2. chinese book
3. sa paper 1
4. sa paper 2
5. art
6. musical props
7. home ec
8. pw

WOW! great improvement! good kat! =^^=

haha. yeah. gotta finish everything by this week man. shit, the hols suck. i shall try and upload the video another time. its really funny.

oh maaaaaaaaaaaan

i got migraine. poots. having such a bad bad bad headache. dunno why. argh, so annoying. and i feel so unaccomplished! i hardly managed to do any work today! got no motivation. =x

anyway. got pictures from stef! hahahah jen the talking box.

























the one i photoshopped

























hahaha. the rest look kinda the same. so video now! ahahhah


okay youtube not working on me, for now i cannot upload video, im having a terrible terrible headache (more like migraine i think) and im feeling really lousy. ahhhh

EH.

MY NEW HAIR!



















see heymath on the computer there! proves im working! :D


UP CLOSE!



















so uber messy.

my hair sucks. its so super difficult to handle lah. pshhhh. anyway. grace woke me up with a message today at around 745 to complain to me that she had to bunk with her two cousins who were always squabbling. and to tell me she was going for holiday. haha kuaaaaaaaaaantaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. i wanna go to. >( and where was the only other place ive gone this holiday? TO SCHOOL. buff it all. some holiday.

ahh. but anyway. yeah went to school, then wasted a lot a lot of time and well, while we were like clearing stuff, jen became the talking box. haha if i can get pictures from stef, ill post them. ahha and she took a video also i think. ahhaha it was so funny. and then sze lin went to call ms kek and told her there was an emergency cos there was a talking box. hahaha. and sze lin wanted to dhl jen off to somewhere and she'd reach there at 10 the next day. then jen was like "okay, ill tell you how long it takes." hahaha. so retarded. im a bit worried, honestly. haha.

yeah then after that, the seniors left then deb and i cleared up and ms kek brought us out for lunch. whoa lunch was so good. ahha. yeah that i was gonna go home but i forgot that i had to get books, so i went back to school then i found char in the comp lab and she was like working on the symposium video and shes been like working on it forever. then she had to leave for dental so i helped her then i did until the com lab closed and then i went to kap to get stuff. yes and then i came back. what an interesting day, wont you agree. i think most of the time was like spent in the com lab.

well so much for changing my sheets today. shoooooooooooooooooooooots. blah. i shall resume heymath and do jian bao after this.

SHE'S THE MAN is so so so funny. omg, its the bomb man! if you havent watched it yet, GO WATCH IT. its so funny. hahaha.