LOTS of work to do, but im procrastinating to the max. work just seems so mundane and uninteresting. there are so many other things i would like to do. like just sit in the library and read leisurely and not have to worry about deadlines and grades.
but then i think about it again. why do i have to worry about deadlines and grades? is not worrying a sin, because it shows our lack of faith in God? rather than be dismayed or discouraged, James says that we should rejoice in the face of trials and suffering, because that is God's way of testing our faith.
over the past couple of days the theme of suffering has been exceptionally recurrent. on sunday during worship, auntie maggie was just sitting a few pews in front of me, and i watched as she lifted her hands in praise, and i was just so awed by how even after everything had happened in her family, she's still able to praise God so wholeheartedly and without holding back or questioning. that faith that she has is really so pure and so refined, and so unlike mine.
and then it struck me, that perhaps, just perhaps, it's in the face of suffering that we draw nearer and nearer to God. well, there are two ways to respond to it. you can either be resentful against God and just keep asking why and be upset that things cannot be under your control, or you can recognise Christ as Lord, and that things cannot ever be under your control, and submit to the will of God. in the face of suffering the sovereignty of God is revealed, and it's a choice whether you want to see it and accept it or not.
and then sermon preached by rev gordon wong was on the exact same topic! he preached from joel, and the title was "in the face of calamity", and he spoke about how joel urges the people to return to God in their suffering because God is a vengeful God. joel can also be interpreted as how sufferings are a call from God for his people to return to him. many people think that sufferings are a result of the sins we commit, but instead, we should think of sufferings as a warning and a trumpet blast to return to God before the real punishment for our sins come.
then in bsf last night, we learnt about christian suffering, and i guess the overall message is that christians suffer for a higher purpose, and that it is in God's will for us to suffer, so rather than to look at it from a human perspective, we should rejoice that God is willing to allow us to suffer, and be thankful that he says he will never leave us in the times of our suffering, and he will live up to it.
it's much easier to fall away from the faith than to remain in it, as 1 peter says that there are 2/3 who will wither away, but the 1/3 left will continue to have their faith tested, refined, and purified through suffering and trials and temptations. the question now is, which third will i be in?
a simple post, but i'm hoping that this will give me a new perspective for this especially challenging week. the takeaway for myself is to think about how i can praise God in the face of all the trials and circumstances that i'm in, like how king david wrote the psalms while on the run.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Saturday, September 29, 2012
from a reckless mind
thought a lot about many things today, but was inspired to write mainly on two topics.
thought about the meaning of words today, and how much depth they can convey, how they can be used as both weapons and also to comfort. for some reason, this year in particular i've been hurt by words a lot more compared to past years, or perhaps its because i've been more conscious of it this year. but at the same time i've also learnt the value of words.
i think it really takes a genius to be able to use words effectively, and for that reason i love poems and hymns that really pack a punch - so much depth and meaning so thoughtfully expressed and wrapped in minimal numbers of words. being able to say so much without saying much at all is something i really admire.
especially the meaning behind lyrics of songs. i realised that i've always been quite drunk on how pleasant the tune sounds, how soothing the voice is, sometimes how the tempo suits my emotions, other times even the length of the song. but hardly, hardly do i ever successfully have enough focus to listen and understand all the lyrics of a song. i just get so lost in the melody, and occasionally perhaps some nice, thoughtful phrases from the lyrics surface (particularly from the chorus) and seems appropriate to tweet.
i guess this is because melodies and tunes have the ability to make us feel certain emotions that we want to feel at certain times, and trying to listen out for lyrics is a lot more conscious, takes a lot more effort, and sometimes the diction of the singer is so bad we just give up. (case in point: having listened to the heart never lies by McFly for countless times, only tonight did i realise what he was singing in the first line of the song. imagine that!) it's also definitely easier to hum the tune which tends to be more memorable than to try and memorise all the lyrics.
unfortunately, and i am ashamed to admit, this applies for me to worship songs as well. though i can say i am more familiar with lyrics of worship songs compared to secular songs, i still tend to lose myself in the tunes of the songs and emotions that sometimes overwhelm. and it's really easy to get that emotional high confused with real spirituality. it's a struggle to stay alert be able to differentiate the two, and to worship in a holy manner, because it just feels so good to be on that emotional high. and that's something you can't get when you're fully conscious of yourself. but i suppose the more important thing to note for worship is the motive - for what reason do i worship in the first place? if it's for me to 'feel' something, then that's self-centred worship, which is really paganism and idolatry of myself. it i look forward to worship for some form of self-benefit, then i think it would be much safer not to worship at all.
it's so difficult to find moments nowadays when the lack or absence of words means so much more. people like to talk. so much. which isn't a bad thing. but there are those who really dont know when to stop. they talk too much. definitely just personal opinion, but the moments when two (or more) people can just be quiet together are the most precious. and mind you, not an awkward kind of silence, but knowing that there's more to having a relationship or a friendship than just conversing with words. you dont have to prove anything.
i think one of the few cartoons that really left quite an impact on me was up, the segment of the show when they show ellie and carl growing up, dating, getting married, growing old, all without script. no words at all, save for the part when they first met. 90% of their time spent together was able to be shown and expressed without a single syllable. how amazing is that.
i guess today i learnt this: there is beauty in words, and beauty without words.
i thought also about being in L.O.V.E. okay, i wouldnt say i'm the most experienced with relationships or being infatuated with someone. while i think i give pretty decent relationship advice to friends, i must also admit that i act like an idiot when i have feelings for someone. and when i step out and evaluate my actions and thoughts and behaviour, i wonder how we're one and the same person. it's really quite incredible how having feelings for a person can change someone so much.
it came to mind today that it's so difficult being in love, liking someone, and pining for that person. from personal experience at least, it's awfully tough trying to be level-headed and cope with your feelings and emotions. the most difficult part for me (surprisingly, for some reason) is admitting to myself that i like the person. i dont get why though. i suppose because my own impression of myself isn't someone who likes other people easily, so when i actually do, i'm pretty shocked and at a loss as to what to do with myself.
so then the question was, if being in love is so difficult, why do people still want to be in love, have crushes and infatuations and be in all these strange emotional states? what on earth is up with this curious attraction for another party? well i guess one reason is that if and when you do have feelings for someone, it's something that can come quite unexpectedly and just sweeps you off your feet and takes you by surprise. it's something you cannot control (contrary to some belief that you can 'choose' to stop liking someone, i dont believe so). in my opinion the most you can do is to try to get over the person, but you cannot just simply say "tomorrow i will stop liking him/her" and expect that to happen. chances are, you will probably think of the person the first thing when you wake up in the morning. as many artists and lyricist have very aptly phrased it, "can't help falling in love".
but reflecting upon my own experiences, i think a more core and human reason is perhaps how being in love - that fluttery, air-headed feeling - makes people feel alive. you get a myriad of emotions from being in love - from euphoric to depressed. you really feel a range of emotions and this adds colour to the mundane lives of people, gives it a twist, spices it up a little, and helps people to live. it also teaches people how to think for and about other people, how to look beyond themselves and consider others, and also to get a different perspective on themselves (sometimes). i think there is a lot to learn when you fall in love. you learn to experience and identify new emotions, some perhaps you've never experienced before. you learn to cope with those feelings (at times even raging hormones), you learn what it feels like to force yourself to grow up. you learn what it means to really care for someone else. you learn self control and how to restrict yourself from doing stupid things. you surprise yourself with unexpected actions for the other, and you get a glimpse into another possible 'you'.
well, it's been some time since i last posted. and i think this is quite substantial to last for some more time? ah, as and when the inspiration (and motivation) comes i suppose. activation energy is terribly high these days - must be something to do with age.
thought about the meaning of words today, and how much depth they can convey, how they can be used as both weapons and also to comfort. for some reason, this year in particular i've been hurt by words a lot more compared to past years, or perhaps its because i've been more conscious of it this year. but at the same time i've also learnt the value of words.
i think it really takes a genius to be able to use words effectively, and for that reason i love poems and hymns that really pack a punch - so much depth and meaning so thoughtfully expressed and wrapped in minimal numbers of words. being able to say so much without saying much at all is something i really admire.
especially the meaning behind lyrics of songs. i realised that i've always been quite drunk on how pleasant the tune sounds, how soothing the voice is, sometimes how the tempo suits my emotions, other times even the length of the song. but hardly, hardly do i ever successfully have enough focus to listen and understand all the lyrics of a song. i just get so lost in the melody, and occasionally perhaps some nice, thoughtful phrases from the lyrics surface (particularly from the chorus) and seems appropriate to tweet.
i guess this is because melodies and tunes have the ability to make us feel certain emotions that we want to feel at certain times, and trying to listen out for lyrics is a lot more conscious, takes a lot more effort, and sometimes the diction of the singer is so bad we just give up. (case in point: having listened to the heart never lies by McFly for countless times, only tonight did i realise what he was singing in the first line of the song. imagine that!) it's also definitely easier to hum the tune which tends to be more memorable than to try and memorise all the lyrics.
unfortunately, and i am ashamed to admit, this applies for me to worship songs as well. though i can say i am more familiar with lyrics of worship songs compared to secular songs, i still tend to lose myself in the tunes of the songs and emotions that sometimes overwhelm. and it's really easy to get that emotional high confused with real spirituality. it's a struggle to stay alert be able to differentiate the two, and to worship in a holy manner, because it just feels so good to be on that emotional high. and that's something you can't get when you're fully conscious of yourself. but i suppose the more important thing to note for worship is the motive - for what reason do i worship in the first place? if it's for me to 'feel' something, then that's self-centred worship, which is really paganism and idolatry of myself. it i look forward to worship for some form of self-benefit, then i think it would be much safer not to worship at all.
it's so difficult to find moments nowadays when the lack or absence of words means so much more. people like to talk. so much. which isn't a bad thing. but there are those who really dont know when to stop. they talk too much. definitely just personal opinion, but the moments when two (or more) people can just be quiet together are the most precious. and mind you, not an awkward kind of silence, but knowing that there's more to having a relationship or a friendship than just conversing with words. you dont have to prove anything.
i think one of the few cartoons that really left quite an impact on me was up, the segment of the show when they show ellie and carl growing up, dating, getting married, growing old, all without script. no words at all, save for the part when they first met. 90% of their time spent together was able to be shown and expressed without a single syllable. how amazing is that.
i guess today i learnt this: there is beauty in words, and beauty without words.
i thought also about being in L.O.V.E. okay, i wouldnt say i'm the most experienced with relationships or being infatuated with someone. while i think i give pretty decent relationship advice to friends, i must also admit that i act like an idiot when i have feelings for someone. and when i step out and evaluate my actions and thoughts and behaviour, i wonder how we're one and the same person. it's really quite incredible how having feelings for a person can change someone so much.
it came to mind today that it's so difficult being in love, liking someone, and pining for that person. from personal experience at least, it's awfully tough trying to be level-headed and cope with your feelings and emotions. the most difficult part for me (surprisingly, for some reason) is admitting to myself that i like the person. i dont get why though. i suppose because my own impression of myself isn't someone who likes other people easily, so when i actually do, i'm pretty shocked and at a loss as to what to do with myself.
so then the question was, if being in love is so difficult, why do people still want to be in love, have crushes and infatuations and be in all these strange emotional states? what on earth is up with this curious attraction for another party? well i guess one reason is that if and when you do have feelings for someone, it's something that can come quite unexpectedly and just sweeps you off your feet and takes you by surprise. it's something you cannot control (contrary to some belief that you can 'choose' to stop liking someone, i dont believe so). in my opinion the most you can do is to try to get over the person, but you cannot just simply say "tomorrow i will stop liking him/her" and expect that to happen. chances are, you will probably think of the person the first thing when you wake up in the morning. as many artists and lyricist have very aptly phrased it, "can't help falling in love".
but reflecting upon my own experiences, i think a more core and human reason is perhaps how being in love - that fluttery, air-headed feeling - makes people feel alive. you get a myriad of emotions from being in love - from euphoric to depressed. you really feel a range of emotions and this adds colour to the mundane lives of people, gives it a twist, spices it up a little, and helps people to live. it also teaches people how to think for and about other people, how to look beyond themselves and consider others, and also to get a different perspective on themselves (sometimes). i think there is a lot to learn when you fall in love. you learn to experience and identify new emotions, some perhaps you've never experienced before. you learn to cope with those feelings (at times even raging hormones), you learn what it feels like to force yourself to grow up. you learn what it means to really care for someone else. you learn self control and how to restrict yourself from doing stupid things. you surprise yourself with unexpected actions for the other, and you get a glimpse into another possible 'you'.
well, it's been some time since i last posted. and i think this is quite substantial to last for some more time? ah, as and when the inspiration (and motivation) comes i suppose. activation energy is terribly high these days - must be something to do with age.
Friday, August 03, 2012
and the lilies of the field
been able to have very meaningful conversations the past week, especially yesterday and today. really love spending quality time with people and talking about stuff that matter. although of course it's debatable as to what is considered 'stuff that matter', but i suppose things that aren't frivolous or superficial? when you're able to go deep into conversation, talking about personal things and feelings, thoughts and opinions and viewpoints. always a joy to be able to hold conversations like that.
and then the thought came to me: i've mellowed down so incredibly much especially over the past year. i dont know if it's cos of thailand, or perhaps age catching up with me, but i've just been so calm lately and able to take things rationally and objectively. i'm a lot less hot headed than i used to be, and i actually stop to think now. maybe it's got something to do with being in uni? i dont know.
and then there's the realisation that hit me the other day, and this thought has been recurring over the past couple of weeks. i haven't got many friends whom i can really go so deep into conversation with. but at the same time, i feel incredibly blessed that i've got these friends. and the amount of time i've known them all vary. some i've known all my life, others barely a year. i guess this is why people have fewer and fewer friends as they grow older. you just see the friends worth keeping and friends not. and i suppose it's not a bad thing. for me, i want to be able to spend more quality time with each of them.
and then the thought came to me: i've mellowed down so incredibly much especially over the past year. i dont know if it's cos of thailand, or perhaps age catching up with me, but i've just been so calm lately and able to take things rationally and objectively. i'm a lot less hot headed than i used to be, and i actually stop to think now. maybe it's got something to do with being in uni? i dont know.
and then there's the realisation that hit me the other day, and this thought has been recurring over the past couple of weeks. i haven't got many friends whom i can really go so deep into conversation with. but at the same time, i feel incredibly blessed that i've got these friends. and the amount of time i've known them all vary. some i've known all my life, others barely a year. i guess this is why people have fewer and fewer friends as they grow older. you just see the friends worth keeping and friends not. and i suppose it's not a bad thing. for me, i want to be able to spend more quality time with each of them.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
last night,
i thought a lot. i mean, i usually think a lot (i think i do anyway), but last night was a different kind of thinking. i'm not quite sure how to put it into words, but there was revelation last night, as well as conviction. it's been a long time since i last thought about things so earnestly and sincerely and meaningfully, and im glad i was able to, and that i did.
it will be a true faith journey starting now. i'm not expecting it to be easy, and i've had to make some very, very difficult and tough decisions to consciously let go of the things that are standing in my way of developing my relationship with the Lord, and i'm also pretty sure that there will come that time when i'm faced with the temptation to give up, and just take the easy way out. this may also result in me feeling this entire thing is meaningless, and just stop halfway. i can't say that these definitely won't happen. and i cannot say i know that the Lord will definitely be there beside me to help me out and everything, because there may come the moment when i doubt, and start to question excessively, and with my already lack of faith, i don't know how i will come to terms with that.
in fact, i don't even know how things will turn out. and i will be honest and say that i'm extremely apprehensive at this stage in whether or not i will be able to press on. but i suppose part of the reason that God has called me to making this decision is to increase my faith. so knowing that there may be a chance i may turn away, i'm gonna consciously try and increase my faith, put it in the Lord, and let Him deal with it.
last night was a terrible night emotionally. but at the same time it also helped me realise 1) how little faith i have, 2) how i'm really not what i think i am, and 3) how i've been asking the wrong questions. i don't know if it was due to the lack of sleep, or the amount of teaching that i had to do during cell, or the news that i received after cell, (perhaps a combination or culmination of all 3?) but it was the first time i felt tired in this way. really drained and helpless. and i guess this is probably what nic means when he says that he tires himself out so that he has to rely on God rather than himself. i could identify with it (not saying i endorse it though), and i guess i do need to be more emphathising and compassionate. try to put myself in the other person's shoes and try to understand from their perspective. i used to be able to do this. to be able to really understand and also give allowance for the opinions and behaviours of other people. i wonder when i started to become so critical and disapproving.
anyhow, i've still got a few issues i need to settle before next month. more decisions to make, more to pray and think about, and lots of heart preparation as well. i don't know if i'm making too a big a deal out of this, but it's a major struggle for me. but well, i've committed it fully to the Lord, and i'm just going to listen out for Him, and allow Him to use me.
it's gonna be a wild ride.
it will be a true faith journey starting now. i'm not expecting it to be easy, and i've had to make some very, very difficult and tough decisions to consciously let go of the things that are standing in my way of developing my relationship with the Lord, and i'm also pretty sure that there will come that time when i'm faced with the temptation to give up, and just take the easy way out. this may also result in me feeling this entire thing is meaningless, and just stop halfway. i can't say that these definitely won't happen. and i cannot say i know that the Lord will definitely be there beside me to help me out and everything, because there may come the moment when i doubt, and start to question excessively, and with my already lack of faith, i don't know how i will come to terms with that.
in fact, i don't even know how things will turn out. and i will be honest and say that i'm extremely apprehensive at this stage in whether or not i will be able to press on. but i suppose part of the reason that God has called me to making this decision is to increase my faith. so knowing that there may be a chance i may turn away, i'm gonna consciously try and increase my faith, put it in the Lord, and let Him deal with it.
last night was a terrible night emotionally. but at the same time it also helped me realise 1) how little faith i have, 2) how i'm really not what i think i am, and 3) how i've been asking the wrong questions. i don't know if it was due to the lack of sleep, or the amount of teaching that i had to do during cell, or the news that i received after cell, (perhaps a combination or culmination of all 3?) but it was the first time i felt tired in this way. really drained and helpless. and i guess this is probably what nic means when he says that he tires himself out so that he has to rely on God rather than himself. i could identify with it (not saying i endorse it though), and i guess i do need to be more emphathising and compassionate. try to put myself in the other person's shoes and try to understand from their perspective. i used to be able to do this. to be able to really understand and also give allowance for the opinions and behaviours of other people. i wonder when i started to become so critical and disapproving.
anyhow, i've still got a few issues i need to settle before next month. more decisions to make, more to pray and think about, and lots of heart preparation as well. i don't know if i'm making too a big a deal out of this, but it's a major struggle for me. but well, i've committed it fully to the Lord, and i'm just going to listen out for Him, and allow Him to use me.
it's gonna be a wild ride.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
backflow
so things turned out rather unexpectedly today.
skipping to the main highlights of the day, had lunch with ex-HOW and it was a really good time of catching up. i think for us, although we didn't start off as the strongest or closest bunch, and our inertia like omega high, but we go a long way man. and the word that i think really really describes us is 'stable'. yeah. i think there's no more appropriate word. and i was just thinking, it's been about 4 and a half years since we started out as a cell, but the experiences that we've shared and times we've been through together have been SO much. to the extent that we're forgetting what happened when hahah. like seriously, the number of sleepovers, the number of movies, the number of dinners, the random things that happened. it's just been nothing short of amazing. i guess my only regret is that all this didnt happen earlier. and it was only when we really started getting closer then there was a change in cells. but today's lunch really brought back memories. it was good just being able to spend time with each other, talking, laughing, listening to each other's stories and discussing our lives. it's all so much more meaningful now.
after lunch we headed over to awfully chocolate where 5 of us shared one slice of cake and one scoop of ice cream. cheapskate max man hahaha. then i got kidnapped by sien and isaac hahah and we went in search of a place to sit and talk at i12katong, but couldn't find anywhere, so we walked over to parkway (since isaac also wanted to get a cd) and spent the longest time at gramophone waiting for sien and ended up at cedele. again.
it's always such a joy talking to the two of them, and it's interesting how God decided to use the two of them together to lead the same cell. and i'm also very thankful that they always jio me to go talk with them. always enjoy listening to their conversations; i always feel more educated and enlightened after listening to them, and there's always something to take away from their conversations. it's terribly exciting, though it can be very challenging at times, but to me, it's a lot more meaningful than the frivolous daily conversations. and yeah, i really appreciate that.
so we spent ages just talking, and talked and talked and just kept talking. i think if we were all holidaying and had the time we would never have stopped talking. hahah. brought back memories of that night in thailand in that coffee shop where the three of us just sat and talked.
in a very brief summary, today was a good day filled with meaningful conversation and time spent well.((: and i'm grateful for that.
skipping to the main highlights of the day, had lunch with ex-HOW and it was a really good time of catching up. i think for us, although we didn't start off as the strongest or closest bunch, and our inertia like omega high, but we go a long way man. and the word that i think really really describes us is 'stable'. yeah. i think there's no more appropriate word. and i was just thinking, it's been about 4 and a half years since we started out as a cell, but the experiences that we've shared and times we've been through together have been SO much. to the extent that we're forgetting what happened when hahah. like seriously, the number of sleepovers, the number of movies, the number of dinners, the random things that happened. it's just been nothing short of amazing. i guess my only regret is that all this didnt happen earlier. and it was only when we really started getting closer then there was a change in cells. but today's lunch really brought back memories. it was good just being able to spend time with each other, talking, laughing, listening to each other's stories and discussing our lives. it's all so much more meaningful now.
after lunch we headed over to awfully chocolate where 5 of us shared one slice of cake and one scoop of ice cream. cheapskate max man hahaha. then i got kidnapped by sien and isaac hahah and we went in search of a place to sit and talk at i12katong, but couldn't find anywhere, so we walked over to parkway (since isaac also wanted to get a cd) and spent the longest time at gramophone waiting for sien and ended up at cedele. again.
it's always such a joy talking to the two of them, and it's interesting how God decided to use the two of them together to lead the same cell. and i'm also very thankful that they always jio me to go talk with them. always enjoy listening to their conversations; i always feel more educated and enlightened after listening to them, and there's always something to take away from their conversations. it's terribly exciting, though it can be very challenging at times, but to me, it's a lot more meaningful than the frivolous daily conversations. and yeah, i really appreciate that.
so we spent ages just talking, and talked and talked and just kept talking. i think if we were all holidaying and had the time we would never have stopped talking. hahah. brought back memories of that night in thailand in that coffee shop where the three of us just sat and talked.
in a very brief summary, today was a good day filled with meaningful conversation and time spent well.((: and i'm grateful for that.
unfinished
been back for about a week, and well, just been adapting back to singapore life and getting my days packed. i think i need to actually start applying some of the lessons i picked up from thailand to my life here in singapore, if not spending 2 months in thailand maciam like wasted.
so for the past week that i've been back i've had a decent balance of human interaction as well as time for myself. went for sushi party with the vders immediately on the night of my return, went for combined cell on sunday, went for invest on monday (managed to catch up quite a bit with lianne), had salad's surprise on wednesday, went for lunch at cacio e pepe with the foodies on thursday, then had breakfast with jiap and jessica, lunch with bryan and dinner with john on friday, and then fusion tonight. hm okay maybe a bit more human interaction than i desired, but i took a walk on wednesday night and it was a good time of reflection. i should make it a weekly habit. and i had tuesday to myself as well, so i guess that was good.
i realised that time here in singapore passes so quickly because my days are all packed and i've got something on almost everyday. but in thailand there is just so much time to myself and i think i got a little bit too used to it hahha so trying to get back used to the life here is taking more effort than i expected. it's surprisingly draining for me, more so than previously, but i suppose it has to do with the people as well? idk. different cultures, different experiences.
i'm trying to meet up with people as much as i can for the rest of the hols, especially people who i wont get to see in school, and also the cell kids. it's sometimes really so tiring just to plan a meetup with the kids, cos they've got exams coming up so i dont want to disturb them, but i dont wanna wait till their o's are over cos that's gonna be a bit..long. idk. i guess i should just try and meet as many as possible? but then i dont wanna shortchange the others whom i dont meet up with. ohh myyyy. who ever knew taking up a cell had so many other things attached to it./:
in terms of spiritual life, God has been revealing the most unexpected (but powerful) things in the most unexpected (but curious) ways. it's been interesting hearing from God; the next step is to take action and actually do something about it. there are so many other personal things that i need to get down in black and white, but i dont think i'll do it here. for some reason i feel this is so public although i dont think anyone comes. i feel like the paranoid parrot from 9gag hahahahha.
so for the past week that i've been back i've had a decent balance of human interaction as well as time for myself. went for sushi party with the vders immediately on the night of my return, went for combined cell on sunday, went for invest on monday (managed to catch up quite a bit with lianne), had salad's surprise on wednesday, went for lunch at cacio e pepe with the foodies on thursday, then had breakfast with jiap and jessica, lunch with bryan and dinner with john on friday, and then fusion tonight. hm okay maybe a bit more human interaction than i desired, but i took a walk on wednesday night and it was a good time of reflection. i should make it a weekly habit. and i had tuesday to myself as well, so i guess that was good.
i realised that time here in singapore passes so quickly because my days are all packed and i've got something on almost everyday. but in thailand there is just so much time to myself and i think i got a little bit too used to it hahha so trying to get back used to the life here is taking more effort than i expected. it's surprisingly draining for me, more so than previously, but i suppose it has to do with the people as well? idk. different cultures, different experiences.
i'm trying to meet up with people as much as i can for the rest of the hols, especially people who i wont get to see in school, and also the cell kids. it's sometimes really so tiring just to plan a meetup with the kids, cos they've got exams coming up so i dont want to disturb them, but i dont wanna wait till their o's are over cos that's gonna be a bit..long. idk. i guess i should just try and meet as many as possible? but then i dont wanna shortchange the others whom i dont meet up with. ohh myyyy. who ever knew taking up a cell had so many other things attached to it./:
in terms of spiritual life, God has been revealing the most unexpected (but powerful) things in the most unexpected (but curious) ways. it's been interesting hearing from God; the next step is to take action and actually do something about it. there are so many other personal things that i need to get down in black and white, but i dont think i'll do it here. for some reason i feel this is so public although i dont think anyone comes. i feel like the paranoid parrot from 9gag hahahahha.
Wednesday, July 04, 2012
breathing (still_)
MY GOODNESS.
i havent blogged at all this entire year! and i didnt realise as well.
anyway, i realised that although i dont think anyone reads this antique thing, once in a while people might come across it (like how i did with another today O:) so better be careful with what i'm writing.
hahah anyway this is just proof that i'm still alive and i'm still keeping this blog alive. i'll do a reeeely proper update for my time here in chiang mai when i get back to singapore.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)