I know now's not best time of the semester to be doing a blog entry, but I figured it will be good to get some thoughts down in the midst of my planning process for the 21 good deeds I'm planning to do, so I suppose this sort of contributes to shaping it.
Today's Vanesa's birthday, really a very dear (not to mention long time) friend, and I dropped her a happy birthday text, and we got talking about celebrating birthdays, and she mentioned about my birthday plans and shared with me that there was this family that she visited with her cca that was really in quite a bad state, and said there are many other families like that who were in need and the financial help they receive isn't much either.
Which got me thinking about many, many, many things. Firstly, I was suddenly very aware of my selfishness. Sure, each of us suffer in our own ways, and we all have our own struggles. But when I really though about it, I realised how small my struggles and sufferings were in comparison to what some of the other people were facing. And it humbled me and made me realise how long more I have to go to truly learn compassion, and to be thankful for what I already have. It's so easy many times to slip into and wallow in self-pity, become bitter at how the world could go on when you feel so alone and upset, without realising that the struggles the people halfway across the city or street are facing are much more real than your own. I'm not saying we all throw away or overlook or ignore our hurts and pains, but I think it's important to view them in light of, in relation to what is happening around us. If I could loosely borrow Morrie's idea, detach yourself from self-pity and look beyond.
Secondly, I thought about the recent Boston marathon bombing. I remember waking up to the voiddecker's whatsapp group and the kids were asking Jan if she was okay and everything. Through the day, as I went on Facebook and Twitter, it was really interesting to see the contrast between the bombing and people going on with their everyday lives. Alex really put my thoughts into words, if I may borrow his status update, "FB is weird today. There are countless news posts of Boston, but there is also the usual nonsense "nobody gives a crap" posts in between making it a very interesting juxtaposition." On Twitter as well, there were strings of #prayforBoston tweets punctuated by other random tweets and retweets about completely unrelated matters. Well, on the surface it may seem like those who didn't post something about Boston are heartless or indifferent or something alone those lines, but practically speaking, how much help can mere words on social media do? But that's another topic altogether. My point here is, I think I myself was appalled at how normally life went on for those who were uninvolved in the incident. It was an internal struggle for me as well, and it was almost as though I had to make a decision on how I should feel. But one thing I knew I felt, I felt lost. I felt helpless. But it didn't necessarily make me sad. Nor did it make me mourn.
Just on the news as I was watching just now, there were updates on the investigation going on regarding the incident, and following that was a report on a 7.8M earthquake that hit Iran and a landslide that was triggered by the earthquake killed a woman.
I think for some, the bigger question might be, where is God in the face of all this? In the midst of the pain and suffering and bloodshed, how can a good God exist? How does one reconcile the evil (whether moral or natural; though I don't quite agree with the term 'natural evil'; it just doesn't make sense to me) with a supposedly good and loving God. A good and loving God would never allow all this to happen to the people He created and loved, because if He did, He wouldn't be good and loving anymore, but instead, sadistic and evil, desiring to watch His people suffer. Both Christians and non-Christians have for years struggled with this, myself included. I've read books and articles addressing the issue of suffering; suffering and evil were topics covered in youth alpha, yet there just doesn't seem to be a satisfactory answer for all this. Will we ever find reason for suffering? Of course there are possible answers. I personally quite enjoy Lee Strobel's response to the 2012 Colorado shooting because I think it does address some of the questions we have, but I know not everyone will be satisfied with his answers. For one, for those who disbelieve in the existence of God, the message will fly over their heads. But at least for me, it works.
I guess taking it from another perspective, instead of looking for God to take responsibility, the more practical question for Christians to ask is, how do we, in the midst of all this crisis, disasters, and sufferings, let the glory of God shine through us? How can we respond appropriately? How can we comfort and love? How can we praise God and exalt Him, so others see the faith that is in us and find hope?
There are no hard and fast answers, and thinking is a tiring process, as is the process of looking for answers. But I suppose the most important thing is to find your own answer and live it out in your life. This may take a lifetime (how then to live it out?) but as long as we're patient and teachable, I'm sure it will be revealed eventually in full, and we will be satisfied.
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above
