katt-SAMA!!squee!![mac]katsonthekatster/-/and i will love You all my life/-/ says:
ay help me think of a heading! for the advertisement thing
sarah says:
haha
sarah says:
what ad?
katt-SAMA!!squee!![mac]katsonthekatster/-/and i will love You all my life/-/ says:
home ec
sarah says:
oh
sarah says:
what you doing?
katt-SAMA!!squee!![mac]katsonthekatster/-/and i will love You all my life/-/ says:
adolescent male thing
sarah says:
HUH?
sarah says:
what is adolescent man.
katt-SAMA!!squee!![mac]katsonthekatster/-/and i will love You all my life/-/ says:
uh teenage according to mrs phua
sarah says:
the ad is to promote males?
katt-SAMA!!squee!![mac]katsonthekatster/-/and i will love You all my life/-/ says:
hahahaahhaahahahahaaahhaahhaah
katt-SAMA!!squee!![mac]katsonthekatster/-/and i will love You all my life/-/ says:
why the heck would you wanna promote males?
katt-SAMA!!squee!![mac]katsonthekatster/-/and i will love You all my life/-/ says:
hahahahahha
sarah says:
i dont know!
sarah says:
you never say what your ad is for!


hahah thanks thiam for making me laugh (although i dont think you realise you did)

man i needed that laugh. my mind feels pretty clear now. and i think i owe everyone an apology for that disgusting attitude in the previous two posts.

so...

IM SORRY!

haha hello yingen! thanks so much for always being there.(: really appreciate it.

hello evan! haha love ya too! (:

wow nat. huge scolding eh... in reply to your tags:
1) i got it off someone's personal message and really thought over it and well. i dunno lah. guess i felt that way lah.
2) i didnt write it to gain sympathy or anything. its my blog where i post my feelings right. and i was really feeling that way ok. i mean i felt there was so much betrayal and everything, i really didnt wanna go on anymore.
3) because i didnt write it to gain sympathy, i dont expect anything out of anyone. i dont expect sympathy, i dont expect anything. and i dont care what people think of me. if they wanna think of me as a pathetic idiot, then i cant really force them not to think that way right. its a matter of opinion.
4) like i said, i pondered over it seriously and i felt really lost. i just felt that no one was there and i dunno. i was all by myself. because of all the betrayal, hatred, backstabbing, i really dont want to live in that kind of world and face those kind of problems everyday. i know i still have a long way to go, but what im questioning is, how will i be able to carry on? how am i going to face and tackle the obstacles that are in my way? can i really live through all that? will the road be TOO long for me to go on? i know, ignore the unhappy things right and move on. but this year has been a really great jump from last year. and i really dont know if i can cope. im really doubting myself. everyones really really changed from last year and sometimes i just dont know where to go. for me friends are very important but i dont care about being invited to barbecues or parties or anything. i couldnt be bothered about that. what i really worry about is whether ill lose my friends. the thought sickens me and it scares me. im sorry. i know friendship is a two-way relationship but my friendships with other people seem to be one-way. i seem to be the only one whos really bothered about it. the other party doesnt really seem to care at all whether our friendship ends. maybe im just trying too hard. or maybe they have too many friends.
talking to new people in the sense that this year, ive been talking quite a lot to the 1e05 girls and i think thats sorta changed me. like the way i think, my temper, my mood, my emotions, everything. i do believe that God has a plan for me and everything that happens happens for a reason, and i trust Him and lay my life into His hands. i really do. it just gets lonely sometimes when youre unable to experience His love and i dunno. you start questioning. as in, you KNOW Hes there but you cant FEEL His presence. it gets kinda disheartening.
as for the whole prefect thing, i dunno if im actually capable of what others think im capable of. i feel im like starting to lose FRIENDS (whom i guess arent real ones at all) just because im a prefect. its unfair. i didnt vote myself to be a prefect. why then am i facing all this? and those FRIENDS claim to be real friends but just because they hate prefects, they start turning against me. its difficult for me. my job isnt easy. but does anyone bother to stop and think if theyre hurting me? no. because theyre all TACTLESS HEARTLESS IDIOTS. sorry if i piss [you] off. but [you] hurt me first. the [you] not refering to you, nat. i do my assigned tasks to the best of my abilities, but my best doesnt seem good enough. and my best always fails. why am i trying so hard then? im searching for answers. but i cant find any. should i then give up this search?

i dont wanna feel this way, depressed and all that either. but its from my past experiences. i dont want those memories to come back and haunt me. maybe im just being a coward and trying to hide from everything.