HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU TAY SUYI!
thanks for all these years of great friendship. thanks for always having a way of cheering me up and encouraging me. and being stupid and retarded and everything. (: its been really really great knowing you. study hard kayyyyyyyyy and i still like your guitarrrr. sorraye but i have the unglamest pictures of you. hahah. OH WELL. love you tooo. :DDDD

WHOOOOO MAAAAAAAAAN. i really really need to get down to studying. i havent started at all. maybe only lit. ahha. but what the blast man.

okayy why i didnt study today: I FRIGGIN WOKE UP AT 4 PM. nuts man. i mean, who wakes up at 4. haha okay, so me. but WHAAAAAAT. like most of the day gone. so i couldnt study proper cos i had to leave for grandy's place at 5. crack man. ahah so i just read lit.

im very happy i slept till 4 though. :DDDDDDDDDD good rest. cos i was so tired. i never actually realised how drained i was. haha. OH WELLS.(:

GOOD LUCK DENISE FOO ON YOUR STUDYING<3

yeah. so nothing much happened today. well, just now. cos, its kinda saturday now. haha. oooh but auntie vicky's birthday! :D we celebrated for her. its was really small but she at least she looked happy. and stuff. (: so it was good? ahha. yepps. then i got my hair cut! :D kelly cut it. a bit short but it was okay. ahahha thiam's reaction was soooo funny. ahaha she still wouldnt tell me why i cant cut my hair. ): ah wells. my hair is very very layered now.

stuff happening LATER ON(:

YAYYY.

okay okay, i must post this: the evolvement of my hair(: i was looking through my pictures one day, then i found the ones i posted earlier! my very short pig tails. no, theyre not curly. then it grew! :D into ponytails! ahhaha but now theres no more tail. cos its SHORT. UNTYABLY SHORT. howwwwwwwwwww.

i just saw my cat step over kelly. hahah it was quite amusing.

ANYWAY.

yes. from this:

































to this:






















































































and now this:

front view!

































































back view!

































right side

















left side
















AHHHHHHHHH. ahhaha oh well. quite funkaye right! ahha i never realised how brown my hair is! ooooh. :D


HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNTIE VICKY! (:






















































































































































































I AM CONVINCED MY SISTER IS BI IF NOT LES. =X JOAN I NEEEEEED TO TELL YOU BOUT THIS. haha. well, no not really actually.

the picture on lydia's cake! thanks salad! :D






















:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

later!

CRIKE MAAAAAAAAAAAAN. I AM SOOOOOOO SHAGGGGED.

havent been home really long. ahha. and so havent blogged either. but anyway. I AM BACK(:

wednesday. well, yesterday. school was okay, had cac. i missed the refreshments though, cos i was with von and mel and we had to pack stuff. mmhmm but it was okay lah, cos it gave me time to bond with von. which was good cos i havent spoken to her in such a looooooooong time. =X

mm then after that was teachers day staffroom decoration! it was fun. well done shan and jo! it was good you guys managed to collaborate everything and that everything turned out well.(: it really was fun cos i think we bonded alot more and the pts too! so thats good. yeah but me and diane had to leave halfway. we went down to holland v to collect stuff. haha i collected lydia's cake and diane went to get balloons and yeah. the only thing was that it was RAINING. like mad. like nearing 6, when we were supposed to leave, it started pouring. then i was like CRAP MAN. but dianes mum sent us down anyway. so it was okay. theeeen uhm. we went back to school and finished up and stuff. haha and we made really funky things. like pirate words like AYE, ARRRR, BLISTERING BARNACLES, SAVVY, LAND AHOY and stuff like that. and our rum/wine bottles too! all in all, very tiring but very fruitful and very fulfilling. yum!

after decor we went back to diane's place and like whoa, we had a whole lot of crap to talk bout man. like we were supposed to do work in the study room but ended up talking like 5/6 the time. so we finished quite late. haha got to bed only at uhm. 1+? haha okay so its not THAT late. but anyway. haha yeah. then got up at 615 and then went to school. had traffic. whoa man. it was raining AGAIN and like... wahh. i kanna soaked lah! cos all the rain got splashed on me. ): like seriously man, my uniform was wet, my vest was wet, my glove was wet. but it was still quite fun lah. haha so yeah.

then after that aces day was cancelled, had class time instead, where everyone changed and stuff. WE WERE LIKE COOLIO PIRATES TODAY ARRR! hahahhaha really i thought our class was quite funky cos like, if im not wrong, everyone dressed up. so it was great. and it was fun seeing so many different colours in school today. haha. yepp. then we had like this pirate club thingie! where all of us had like the same scar on our face. haha and me and dree had beards! coolio aye! hahaah. yeah. haha then the prefects went down and me, lyddie and dree became LAND (lyddie) A(me) HOY(dree)! ahhaha. it was so high. and funny. it was really fun. and we scared ms gan! hahah and we escorted mr lim tooo. ahha it was just fun lah. yepp. but exhausting though.

then had celebrations. celebrations this year was fun. in fact, for all the celebrations this year, theyve all been fun. dunno why. ahha. last year i was too slack i think. ahha. yepp. then uhm. oooh! haha 2d dance was goooood. ahha then mr ong and mr seow dressed up in mg uniform. like my goodness, SO embarrassing. ahhaha cos me and san and dree saw them first, we were all laughing like mad. it was so crazy. hahahah. like really. hahah and mr ongs skirt was too short! and hes got ugly legs too. =X and 2h has bonded alot more! like today, they actually took the initiative to stand for the best dressed class, which was pretty cool. they didnt need like prompting or anything. i was really quite surprised when they stood. haha.

ahhah but besides the point. yeah then some seniors came back too. jemma, julianna, louisa, kaye and hannah performed. jen and stef came back. ohh yifang came back too! mmhmm. then uhmmmm after celebrations was recess. yuxi said i looked drunk. so did thiam. ahha. recess wasnt much lah. haha. yeah then after recess was class time again and basically, it was just free time.

then after school, we had celebrations for lydia. (((: although it wasnt a proper one and it was a very early one, i hope she still enjoyed it. hahah it was quite loser lah, but the cake was very good. like really. hazelnut crunch with vanilla sponge and choc cream. MMMMMM. :DDDDDDDD ahha yeah the cos we had sweet secrets do the cake for us! so we chose picture cake. wow after how many weeks of planning between me and deanna. and yay. (: im glad it was okay. and im glad its over and i dont need to worry bout it.

yepp. then like joan and suyi asked me to go over to suyis house cos they got like coolio stuff. so i agreed. yay and im glad i went too. cos we had so much fun though we slacked a lot. ahhaha and i managed to get rid of abby's cake for her. hahah WHO ROCKS :DDDDD

yeah then we went to suyis house and SUYI HAS AN ELECTRIC GUITAR. HOW COME I NEVER KNEW THAT HM. haha but yeah. joan played the bass, suyi played her guitar, i was photographer! :D im not bad leh! quite good. ahha or maybe it was just suyi's camera. BUT ANYWAY. MOST of the pictures were nice. haha. yeah like we took pictures for a while and stuff, then i promptly fell asleep. ahah for bout an hour? or so. yeah. then after joan left i played the guitar a bit. it was super nice! like WOW. ((((: hee. it really was nice lah. yeah. ahah. OH and they showed me hard gay! oh my goodness its SO funny. ahhahaha its in a way, funnier than ms swan cos sometimes you cant really hear what ms swan is talking bout, but as long as there are subs for hard gay, GO WATCH. it really is very funny. aha. but i fell asleep while watching it. cos i was tired. mmhmm then i was halfway playing inside your heaven on the electric then i had to leave.

then ahhah oh man our planning sucked lah. ahha the timing and everything so screwed up man. and i had to leave in the middle of my playing guitar somemore. >( hahah nahh. but anyway. initially cos me gis and stef wanted to watch monster house at 630. but we couldnt make it. so we decided on the 720 one. and we STILL didnt make it. so we had to watch the 840 one. WAPIANG WE HOW SUCK LAH. hahah tsk tsk our punctuality is a problem! haha but anyway. yeah we got tix and went to have dinner then watched.

hahaha oh man. monster house really is quite good lah. i mean, i totally didnt expect the plot to be like that. and the trailers were really good too, cos they give you the right amount of information to make you wanna watch it, but it doesnt tell you really what is going on. and its a good show! and i encourage those of you who wanna watch a stupid show, but not completely stupid and pointless and money-wasting, to watch monster house cos its really quite a good show. (: i would watch it again, but i wouldnt go cinema lah.

mmhmm. so we ended quite late and then went back home! it was fun lah. but tiring. haha everything is fun but tiring. i guess to some extent thats true eh. BUT IT WAS STILL GREAT. :D

hm im still contemplating which comms to choose for next year. i really think i should worry bout it cos agm really is nowhere near. ahha. yeah.

yay i got nothing on tomorrow! WHOOOO. can stay home and study. on saturday, gotta go dianes house, then got meeting and then see what happens. mmhmm.

niji makes me feel nostalgic. haha.

crack blogger aint working. i cant post lydia's cake. haha. oh well.

YO HO, YO HO,
HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY!

haha i forgot what i was about to post. hahah maaaaan. my short term is getting so bad.

OH YEAH. ALL THOSE OUT THERE WHO HAVE PICTURES FOR TODAY, CAN YOU SEND THEM TO ME PLEASE. (((((((((: OR AT LEAST TELL ME WHO YOU ARE SO I CAN BUG YOU FOR THEM :D

haha. yepp. in any case, the past two days have been really fun. ahha but now im just really tired. im just so glad the term is over. school will be ending in a flash too. like eoy.

stef leaving on sunday. i still dunno if i should go or not. jo wants me to go, but i dunno. it may be kinda strange. right? haha i dunno. SEE FIRST.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YVONNE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YING!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANNAH!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHERILYN!

BLAHH YOU SMALL PEOPLE WHO THINK YOURE SO BUSY. IF YOU'RE BUSY RIGHT NOW, WAIT TILL YOU GO UP TO SECONDARY SCHOOL/JC/UNI. YOU. WILL. DIE.

and im not just saying it. i mean, i know im not like the busiest person on earth or anything, but like, please lah. how busy can you get in PRIMARY SCHOOL?! crack you.

ANYWAY. i shall not waste time. ahha. yeah like bloggin aint a waste of time in itself eh. haha. okay anyway. had traffic todayy. wah so bad lah. only divya and me. then had english followed by lit. english we did more oral. like 3 pictures. nutsssss i tell ya! nutssssssss.

and i fell asleep during lit again. i dunno why! ive been falling asleep during like lit and math a lot lately. tsk tsk jialat man. ahha maybe the teachers are just too boring. >.<

uhm then had comp. we had some survey by moe. ohh crapp. i was so stupid lah. like cos the first question was do you like school? strongly disagree/disagree/agree/strongly agree in that order. but cos im so used to strongly agree/agree/disagree/strongly disagree in this order, that i was gonna click agree but it was actually disagree but i clicked the next button. so in a way, i kinda answered wrongly. haha so terrible.

but OH WELL. i spent the rest of comp playing card games cos my video dieded. haha then recess i had to check drama storeroom for a MANNEQUIN WHICH WE WILL HAVE TO DIG OUT TOMORROW FOR DECO. and no clothes. ahhaha.

yeah then we had math. probability. we rolled dice and tossed coins today. ahhah how exciting eh! hahaha. but yeah it was quite fun lah. haha me and lyddie were being so stupid. yeah then geog was fine too. mrs chong is getting less. irritable. haha. and irritating too. then life science!

WHOOO WE GOT TO EAT YOGURT TODAYYYYY. and i know how to make yogurt too! its actually quite easy and cheaper than buying the actual yogurt. i mean, you do actually need the yogurt (if you got the easy way) but only a small amount. depends on how much youre making lah.

yeah all you gotta do is to stir the yogurt into the milk and (according to krithika) leave it overnight or (what we did) incubate it for bout 2-3 hours and then refrigerate it either way. then you can add sugar (its actually really yummy!) or fruits or whatever you want, even cereal, to it and eat it. its really nice. dont even have to add suar. its really not that sour. but its nicer with sugar.

oooh and we smelled the ethanol we made yday too! wahh it was actually quite easy lah. we mixed like water with sugar and then yeast then left it to ferment. fermentation actually quite fun. :D yeh and it really smelled like wine lah! coolioooo. (((((:

mmhmmmmm. then kayaking! :DDDDDD last session today. we all graduated WHOOOO ((((((((: kayaking's been really really great. like amazing. its really fun to just, be on the water and just. feeling the breeze and stuff. its really relaxing. and like the water (at macritchie) is brilliant too. fantastic. like, when i heard lesley say we had to do capsize drill, i just got really scared and i didnt want to try it. but after doing it, i realised that its actually really not that bad and really, its fun. kayaking has been nothing short of fun. hahah ive got strange tan lines now too. hahah.

yepp. then came home.

WHOOOOOOOOO CANT WAIT TILL TOMORROW! :DDDD

lesse. got commendation awards ceremony. dad's gonna go. haha yeah then got teacher's day decor. then at bout 6 me and diane going down to hv to get stuff! :D then going back to school if we still have time then imma stay over at dianes! whooooo. yayness. hahha funkayyye. but for now, home ec, pe and pw.


















with mum again! he looks quite spastic here. ahha. >.<;;;















haha all my hair covering my face.


















more hairrrr


















OH MY SLEEPING CHILD(: heh heh.


















hee hee. he's really quite cute aiiight! (:


maybe six feet ain't so far down

WHOOOOO. today was an excellent day! so, great. (: i didnt get upset or anything. cept maybe physics, but that was minor. so it was cool.

so cos i had to finish up art prep, i stayed up till like 4 plus then finally i was so tired i had to go sleep. so i slept at bout 4.15. 1 hour 45 minutes. not bad. haha my worst was like. 45 minutes. 1 hour improvement! :D

haha yepp, then went to school and i was super tired. chapel went well, although it was super impromptu. i shared first, then su-lyn shared, mel shared, gis shared, tricia shared, kara shared, nic shared, carisser shared and lydia also. wow. haha. oh bat too. it was quite amazing lah, how bonded our class is now. i mean, come to think of it, at the start of the year our class was like separated by the red sea. but now, nothing can separate us. its been really fun growing as a class and getting to know each other. mmhmm.

then we had worship. like.. acapella. hahaa. yepps, but it was okay.

yeah then we had art. i managed to finish my final prep piece, then for the second period i fell asleep. wahh get back all my loss of sleep for art from art man. haha if that makes sense. yes, it does. cos i say so. ahha ANYWAY. yeah so art was kinda slack. then life science.

i expected it to be really bad, but it was quite fun actually! we did like alcohol fermentation preparation and we made yogurt too! it was quite fun. haha yeah then we ended early somemore! so we had early recess. ms yeo was nice today. (: most people were.

ahha then while we were making our yogurt, stupid kara made me laugh so hard. ahha shes so stupid, i tell you. ahha i laughed alot with kara today for some reason. ahha we went back to class then started laughing and being stupid. haha.

yeah then after recess mr lim came in. with physics papers. i got 19/25. but i was super careless. i could have gotten like what. 22. pfffffffffhhhhhhhhmmmmmm man. nevermind. at least i did pretty well. i got all my diagrams right! (: but 3 careless mistakes. what a waste man.

after physics we went to lt1 to do english oral and there was a whole lot of tension between mrs lim and ruth. ahaha our whole class ah. i kinda pity mrs lim lah, sometimes. having to deal with us. but yeah. then su-lyn was being so retarded lah. future lawyer man.

mmhmm then chinese we got test back. got like 13/20 which really isnt good. i failed my cloze. jialat. ahhah. but aiyar. okayy lah. then yeah, cant really remember what we did. haha. yeah then after school went with lesley and mel to og to shop! wahh tired now man. but it was fun lah. haha i hate shopping though. we spent like 2+ hours and she only bought a blouse and a necklace. hmmm. hahah.

conclusion of today's outing: SHOPPING IS A WASTE OF TIME. but still fun. something to do if you have a lifetime to while away. (:

yeah. today was okay lah. quite good, in fact. compared to yesterday. ahha.

whoo im tired. and i dont think ive got homework. but i should do like home ec and pe work. or else i have to stay up tmr. -.-

kayaking tmr! whooooo better pack properly man. for at least like once. ahha tmr's the last session. noelle wants to pon lah, wtheck. shes crazy. all those who dont like kayaking are CRAZAYYE. its how super fun lah. mleargh. ahha.


















AHHAHA okay so i cannot take mirrored pictures. what, ive never taken them before kay. my first try lahh.


















HA okay, i really should stop. haha ooh lesley so pwettayye eh! :D


















me, mel and her stick of fishballs! ahhah

haha okay yeah. ooh i forgot to add. then after that we went kap. as in me and mel. and we did home ec. ahaha. quite retarded lah. haha yeah then i tried oatmeal milk today! okay lah, quite yummy, but they make my teeth feel funny. o.O

haha i just took more pictures of keeweee. (:






































































































ahahah man i love him. haha. he's so funny. his expressions and stuff. ahhaahhaha.

i got more pictures of ryan! tomorrow! after kayaking :D

SO NOW ABRAHAM HAS A GAY SON CALLED ISAAC :O

siiiiiiiiiigh. man im being too fussy. im getting sick of my skins so soon. mleargh. im terrible eh!

BUT. nevermind. thats me(:

i dont quite remember what i did yesterday actually. OHHH YEAAAH. i remember now.

went out for lunch, then went to see ryan! oh my goodness, he is the smallest thing on earth. ahha but hes not photogenic. he looks like some alien in pictures. cept when hes asleep. ive got a few, but not very nice. haha. lesse.

















awwwwww. hahahhahah


















with mum


















see the hamper behind! :D


haha all these are with his eyes closed though. ive got one really cute one of him sleeping!


















HAHAHAH ET AWAKENS AHHAHAHAH.


















hahaha oh man i love this expression. priceless man. hahaha


















OOOOOH ALIEN AHHAHAHA


















he looks quite okay here what right actually. hahah. quite cute lah.


















my fav pic! computer resolution not too great though.


















hahhaa how frowns in their sleep? ahhaha quite funnayyye.


















he looks okay here toooo.


poor kid's got jaundice though. >.<

oh well. he's really cute live though. ahhaa.

yeah spent quite some time there and then got home and i dunno. did stuff. not much lah. mmhmm. he's really really cute. carried him for quite long then my arms got tired so OH WELL. ahha. yepp.

then today. today wasnt very good. during breakfast i got really really pissed off and aiyar, long story. its quite personal too. so i shant post it.

but then church was okay. we didnt have class cos our teachers werent there. so the sec 2s went to the conference room and we watched veggietales! funkayye man.

hahah it was soooo funny. i felt our class bonded more. so thats good! (: but then aiyar, the whole day was quite annoying cos i kept getting pissed then okay then pissed again.

THANK YOU NG LIPIN for accompanying the whoooooole day with me! :D wahh i seriously love you man. hahaha. thanks sooooooooo much. (: and im still sorry i woke you up. hahah.

mmhmm then came home and for some reason, i felt like reading the mg mag so i did. ahhaha i found some really funny pictures. hahahah.

mmm not much lahh really.

my whole of this week is gonna be sooo booked man.

lets see.

monday, tmr - get costumes with mel and lesley (tentative)

tuesday - kayaking!<3 and got traffic. -.-

wednesday - traffic again and cac WHOO. hahah. then going down to hv to collect cake and balloon and then going to stayover at diane's.

thursday - traffic, aces, celebrations and then ANOTHER celebration. ((((:

friday - HOLIDAYYY. MONSTER HOUSE WITH GIS AND STEF. maybe.

saturday - hmmmm stef's at like 7. A.M. freak man. haha. nuts. then im prob gonna spend the day at diane's and see what happens at night.

sunday - church then see what happens. stef flying offfff.):

SEPT HOLS

tuesday - pb meeting

wednesday - scs filming OH MAN.

thursday - suyi's party

WAPIANG LIDDAT HOW TO STUDY LAH. pffffft i really need to work my time out well man. jiaaaaaaaalaaaaaaaaaaaat. howwwwwwwwww!

frik, blogger's damn screwed. i should learn to save my posts before publishing.

i hate it when people start messaging me and dont reply. go away if thats the case and dont message me at all. waste my message.

i have loved you all along.

WHOOOOO.

okay, so i was supposed to blog yesterday, but i was soooo tired and fell asleep. i didnt even study chinese lah! tsk tsk. jialat man. haha but anyway.

what happened on thursday. hm. oh life science test. it was pretty okay. i think i screwed up big time though. mmhmm. but oh well. then like. i dunno. not much? haha yeah then physics was okayy too i guess. passable i hope. ahha. anyway. cant really rmb what happened lah. but i stayed back to do art and we had good class bonding time! ahha. hil, xianwen, bat, divya, sheryl, vicky, cheryl, kara, lydia, gis and me stayed back together and i managed to finish my final piece. like whoaaa vicky and cheryl's ones were so good. like seriously man. crazayye. haha.

oh, i have decided that i really should punctuate my sentences cos if not they look kinda weird. i think. haha. okay, that was like random but OH WELL. (:

mm and THANK YOU VICKY FOR YOUR NICE NICE FIREWORKS! there's a large difference between your work and mine though. -_- mr ong will know i cheated. ):

but heck.

ahha. mm yeah then went home and tried to study chinese but didnt really succeed. oh yeah! i rmb! i had to edit the stupid script AGAIN. i tell you ahh. jialat lah. then i was super tired and so fell asleep.

then today. chinese wasnt too bad. only 5 fill in the blanks. managable. i think. haha. then WHOO NEWS(: we got our chinese newspapers, i flipped the page and GUESS WHAT I SAW(: SANDRA LIM MIN'S PICTURE ON FRIDAY WEEKLY(: hurhurrrrrrrrrrr. ahhahahaha. nic thought she was like 20+ and they all didnt believe me when i said san was sec 3. haah. tsk tsk.

mm then pe was soccer again. like 3rd week already? and i think ms su got really really irritated by ruth. hahah like owwww. and she distracted me lah what the crap! then the other team scored and she said it was counted. bleargh. cheat man.

haha but yeah was pretty okay lah. theeeen uhm. recess was so retarded. andree started doing the mulan moves and dunno what junk. ahahaha and noah was trying to learn. hahah so retarded. but dree does a pretty good imitation. and wapiang, they were all so mean to me lahh. hurt my feelings man. haha.

history was okay, started on a new topic for math, then ve.

mmmm joan was very happy today. ahhaha. cos she touched jon leong's hand. ahahha very amusing. haha sat next to her for ve and like she drew throughout the whole session. oh well.

ve we played some stupid game, learnt more bout ourselves and stuff. 2 more sessions! haha i hope we actually get down to finding out who we really are cos like its still quite general. and we drew mice today.(:

mm then had cac rehearsal. what a waste of time man. haha. not much lah. then went to mel's house. haha ive been there like lots of times before already, but whoa. seriously, her house like resort liddat. got pool, w whole lot of plants, got like beach chair and tables (haha), got outside shower somemore! PLUS. carpark. wapiangggg shes like too rich man. ahha but we slacked lah basically. watched a lot of tv. haha. whooo her house is really super nice lah. ((((((: yay thanks mel!

mmhmm. then got sent home. mmmm haha oh i forgot something else.

THANK YOU SALAD I OWE YOU MY LIFE(((((((((((: wahh your photoshop skills are like supremeeeee maaaaaaan. hahaaha thanks so much yeah! and do so fast somemore! i took like 3 hours and got wasted man. it looked so hideous i had to delete it. hahaa but thanks soooooooo much! :D

yepp. nothing much. i wanna see ryan! i havent seen him yet): ill try and take pictures of him! (:

later!

WHOOOOOOO

today was a very uhm. rickety day. haha. yepp. lets see. mm home ec i was quite high. like when we went to the front, we all just started laughing and stuff. ooh and kara is now noah, im abraham, gis is joseph and nic is jocab. hahahahah. nahh jacob. haha so funny. yeah then we made satay chicken! quite nice lahh. yepp then had math. wahhh i passed my test by like 1/2 a mark lah. what crap man. i was quite upset cos i expected to do better? yeah. then after that geog was okay. did lots of copying. and mrs chong was in a good mood today. then recess i did pw, which was incomplete anyway. haha. mmhmm. then had lit, which i was falling asleep lahh. quite jialat. yeah then history was okay. got test back. 17/20 :D im happy. haha. yeah then uhm had pw. we presented! quite okay lahh. wasnt as bad as i expected lah.

yeah then we were like held back, but after that had drama. then jemma came back also. to get a form signed. crazy man. mm then drama was okay. pretty fun actually. we had elections! congrats auntie! :D vice-pres! not bad ehh. (: haha yeah then we had auditions for scs film. heh heh heh our script was chosen. funkayye man. we're gonna be credited as scriptwriters. coolio man. haha yeah then after drama me, auntie, emma and char stayed back to eat and work on the script. haha kickashit! hahahaha. retarded lahh.

yeah today wasnt that bad lah. but i seriously wish my mum would stop nagging and quit getting on my nerves. pfffffffffffffffffffffhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmm. mlea.

i wanna watch monster house<3 opens on ying and hannah's birthdays! haha yay. im so gonna watch it man. mmhmm. oh yeah! auntie vicky gave birth yesterday! :D ryan tan yao sheng! ahhahah 22nd august 2006. hahaha yayy. (: hmm hmm.

whoo im so jialat, ignoring all my tags. ahha HELLO EVERYONE.(:

waiting for the right kind of pilot to come.

hmmm

im still feeling so bothered. but thank you meiyan! talking to you really really helped. (: you great hubby. i shall take your advice.

okayy anyways. english had comprehension to do. was okay lah. on mountain climbing. then for comp oh my goodness. i was so... i dunno. okay, in short my computer hard drive crashed so my camp video is erased. what the junk man. but anyway. i dont need to redo it, but what trash lah. i put so much effort into it somemore. its something i dont actually mind doing. pfffffffft. but anyway. i went to the iMac lab first. like whoa. they're coolio man. they're a bit difficult to use at first, but after a while after getting used to it, its quite fun. so yeah. then i created 48 seconds of my own music. haha it was quite cool lah. yeah then i finally settled school fees. pffffffft. i delayed for how long lah. yeah then ohhhh myyyyyyyy goooooooodnessssssss. I HAVE NEVER WASTED SUCH PRECIOUS 10 MINUTES OF MY LIFE BEFORE. nvm i shant mention it. its a mean thing to say):

okay anyway. recess wasnt much lah. math mrs chen didnt return math papers but i have a feeling i failed. im quite worried. then life science was very confusing. haha.

ive been so tired lately for some reason i myself dont know. its getting to me cos i cant focus in class. pffffft.

had kayaking. i got tan lines after only like less than 3 hours of kayaking. tsk tsk. im terrible. but yeah today was fun. ms su is a terrible rescuer. this week is like the 3rd session. 4 weeks have passed so fast man. next week is our last week. hmmm kayakings been really great. it helps me de-stress and like. gives me time to think through things? haha i dunno. its just relaxing lah. i recommend kayaking(:

mmhmm. then came home and ate and stuff. hm. i got pw and home ec. i dont feel like doing home ec though. pw is a must lahh. pffft. no sleeeeeeep again. ):<

hmmm i forgot what i was about to say. my goodness. my short term is getting really bad. OH YEAH. physics and life science on thursday, chinese on friday. DIE.

thank you angel!(:

my computer is lagging.

why is my computer lagging?

COS IT FRIKKIN HATES ME.

erjnfuiefwhdesefd

im still feeling itchy even after ive just bathed. howwwww irritating.

its been on my head the entire day. freeeeeeaaaaaaaakkkkkkk the stupid pfokwejficnhfer thing. ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH.

I NEEEEEEEEEED TOOOOOOO TAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLKKKKKKK TOOOOOOOOOOOOO SOOOMEEEEEOOOOONNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEE

argh. what the crap man. im such an idiot. phfm.

OKAY. CHILL. had chapel today. WHOO GO TTM! you with the coolio bass. and to whoever who did the slides, your lyrics were wrong. tsktsk. no offence ah.

then had music. wah crap im gonna be assesed next term AND IM GONNA FAIL AND PULL LYDIA DOWN WITH ME [DSFJEJNEuifdamuirgkoraie junkayyyee. PFHM. IM SO STUPID. WHY AM I SO STUPID. ):<>Footsteps approach and I know it's you.

I've known it's you for the past 14 years. Those familiar footsteps. Yet that unfamiliar face.

The door opens, as it does every night. I know it's you. I can smell you a mile away. That alcoholic stench. That disgusting odour of smoke and beer that clings onto you. I know what you're about to say. It's almost as though I'm psychic. I know the lecture that is coming right at me. You will finish your first paragraph, and then take a sip out of your beer bottle.

As I predicted, everything happens.

Then you carry on with your second paragraph, occasionally stroking the covers on my bed, getting distracted by the many patterns on my quilt cover. This paragraph is about my mother.

You tell me how beautiful she was and how kind she was. Well, she must have been, to agree to marry someone like you. You tell me how clever she was, how she aced in school, how she was so popular and was invited to every hottest party of the year. I wonder if she really was as smart as you speak of her to be. How then did she end up with someone like you?

I don't understand why you still keep reminding yourself of her. She left us some 10 years ago. I wish you would forget her.

Slowly you savour the last few drops of your precious drug. You fiddle fondly at the keychain she sewed for me, which is hung on my wallet at my bedside. Then your eyes dart to my wallet.

A black wallet, modern, sleek, something every teenager my age would want. But fire starts to burn in your eyes as you glare at the lump of black cloth with hatred. You resist change, you want to keep tradition. You don't like it when new products emerge.

Suddenly, your glare is cast upon me. I can feel your hatred burning on my back. It's like an invisible flame, but a most deadly one. And so starts the third paragraph of your lecture.

You begin to criticize my looks. My eyes, my nose, my mouth, my lips, my eyes, my teeth, my hair, even the way I dress. You make me out to be the complete opposite of my mother.

It all seems scripted out and rehearsed, the exact right impact at the exact right words and moments. Like you planned it way before stepping into my boundary. It seems like a movie. Sometimes I wish I could run away. Run away from your protection, run away from your hatred, run away from your love.

I feel so restricted.

And when you finally finish your lecture, you step out, but not before knocking my head consistently against the computer screen, which you think I'm glued on to.

Then you leave.

It makes no difference to me though, whether you've come in or not. It's all a cycle anyway. It makes no difference to me. Tomorrow night, history will repeat itself and then everything will happen as though nothing has taken place.

Even after you have left the room, the tension lingers in the air and so does the odour. My head hurts from the knocking and it seems that anymore knocks and either the computer screen or my skull will crack. Well, I guess it doesn't matter either way. The hurt ebbs away after sometime.

The hurt on my head, that is.

My keyboard is suddenly wet from saltwater. That's a change in the cycle. Or is it? Maybe I just haven't really noticed it at all.

There's something else different about tonight as well.

It's suddenly raining heavily outside.

But it's cold inside.

[rant]

i dont get why you must always do things like this to me. you give me a glimpse of hope, and then take it away, leaving me hanging there, confused and unsure of what to do. i dont know why i am so disturbed by this honestly. i mean, i should have the faith to believe that our friendship is strong, but right now at this point, im just doubting everything about you. i dont know why. im just so confused. i wish i could find an answer to who you really are. everything i see reminds me of you, and those arent just lyrics. im highly irritated right now. i dont know what you think of me, how you see me, how you feel bout me or anything. you leave me with that insecurity when im not talking to you, yet i dont want to get too close to you. do you always do this to other people? or maybe its just me. maybe you find amusement in seeing me confused, insecure, lost. you sadist.

i really want to believe we arent drifting but it seems impossible to feel that way when im not talking to you. i wish i didnt know you so well, somehow. maybe then i wouldnt have fallen so deep into the pits. maybe then i wouldnt have been so involved. maybe then I WOULDNT ACTUALLY BE FEELING THIS WAY. it really hurts. it hurts the way your attitude towards me can change so much in such a short period of time. you care so much about me one moment, and the next you are completely unhelpful. i know i have hurt you before and im sorry, but right now, the very torture you are putting me through. i dont even know if you realise it or not. i want to be confident we are good friends, yet there is this tugging inside of me telling me not to be a bother. i have never felt this way towards anyone else before. i dont know how strong our friendship is. i dont know how strong our bonds are. we're like. so close. yet so far. i dont know. it sounds really cliche, but yeah. thats the way im feeling right now. its such a contradiction. i want you to leave yet im scared of losing you. tell me what to do, wont you?

im so sick and tired of superficial friendships right now. i want to be certain that our friendship isnt one like that. but i cannot be 100% sure. because everytime after i confide in you, i feel as though i have bothered you so much. i feel as though you find me such a nuisance. i feel as though you're so sick of me. and im scared. because i dont wish to be a bother to anyone. and you just dont tell me to stop. at all. you just let me go on. you let me annoy you, irritate you, bother you. and i dont know how you feel. you're so well masked up. thats why i dont want to get so close. but somehow you make me want to get to know you. its. i dont know. i just really want to cry now. but i dont want to cry over you. i dont want to cry over this. because i dont know if it is worth crying over or not.

i try my best to be there for you. but sometimes it really is difficult to talk to you because your response makes me unsure of whether you are pissed off at me or not. if you are, fine, ill stop bothering you. i havent really got anyone else to talk to anyway, and im fine with that. maybe if i didnt know you at all, it would be best. maybe we should just keep away from each other for a little while. you're just so distracting. i really wanna focus on my studies at this point of time. i need to refrain for a bit. maybe you'd leave me alone for awhile.

im really really grateful for everything that you've done for me and im also thankful for what we have gone through together. you truly are an amazing person. but maybe both of us just need a breather. we need a break from each other. i dont want you to get sick and annoyed of me and i dont wanna be distracted by having you on my mind all day long. its tiring you know. thank you for being there for me all this while. you've really helped me grow and discover myself in many ways. but now i need to be independent and learn to do that by myself. and in doing so, i hope i can find out who you really are as well.

thank you.

[/rant]

hmm. emoness. pffffft.

yday's pictures on thiam's blog.

Ghost of You - Good Charlotte

And I will wait until the end
When the pendulum will swing back to the
Darker side of our hearts bleeding

I will save this empty space
Next to me like it's a grave
Where I lay a place for us to sleep eternally together

I have been
Searching for
Traces of
What we were

A ghost of you is all that I have left
It's all that I have left of you to hold
I wake in the night to find there's no one there but me
And nothing left of what we were at all

Here I am
Pacing around this house again
With pictures of us living on these walls

I see my breath in the cold of the air that I breathe and I'm wondering
I'm wondering if it's you that I feel
If it's you that I feel here haunting me forever

I have been
Searching for
Traces of
What we were

A ghost of you is all that I have left
It's all that I have left of you to hold
I wake in the night to find there's no one there but me
And nothing left of what we were at all

And I'm not looking for anything but us
Anything but what we were
And I'm not asking for painted memories
I only want to know you're here

A ghost of you is all that I have left
It's all that I have left of you to hold
I wake in the night to find there's no one there but me
And nothing left of what we were at all

A ghost of you is all that I have left
It's all that I have left of you to hold
I wake in the night to find there's no one there but me
And nothing left of what we were at all

WHOOOOOOOO. havent blogged since thursday. hm. wasnt really in the mood to, for some reason. hahaha okay okay friday.

quite slack lah. chinese was okay, played soccer for pe. being defender so sian. better than lydia though. shes unemployed as goalkee. ahha. then history had test. i think i screwed it up man. haha then math we went through ws. then ve had disc analysis. haha went through all the junk i knew already. joan was emo though. yeah then uhm. oh yeah after school went to kap with mel and i got mac&cheese!:D yum. haha then went home, and at bout evening-ish jie asked me to go for prayer meeting with her. didnt really wanna go initially, but she managed to persuade me to go. and i was glad i went, actually cos its really meaningful and enriching lah. but i was surprised at how little people went. oh well. im glad I went.(:and ive learnt something too! but im not posting it here. haha.

yeah then today. morning was like slaaaaaaaaack. wayyy slack. very terrible. the rest of the weeks must mug man! haha. yeah then after that joan called me and asked if i was going over then i was like dunno yet cos havent asked mum. haha then stef said i could crash if i was bored. so i planned on going to stef's then to joan's, but stef said her mum was going home and she was going out so i went straight down to joan's instead. and wahhhh vicky and suyi so childish lah! try and steal singapore flag, then leave me to tie it back while they run away to joan's house. i got lost somemore okay. pfffffft. haha but it was quite funny lah. i wandered around then vicky called. ahha.

yeah then wahh we slack some more at joan's house. we watched like totally spies then shes the man. hahaha oh my goodness i laughed like crap lah. hahaha. then we watched you got served halfway then lyn and i left. hahah and in the midst of everything, thiam cos-ed as paul twohill. WHOOO she really looks like him lah. quite coolio eh. haha. yeah she put like eyeliner, painted her nails black (btw so did vicky and suyi hahaha) and had her hair down. PLUS. she had braces. haha. she looked like him lah. wah crap it was quite scary man. hahah. yeah then cos lyn didnt know what to dress up as, they (joan, thiam and vicky) made her go as rapper. she had like a cap, then she wore my jacket and put the hood over and they made her like a chain and bling! hahaha. but it broke off in the end anyway. oh and thiam plaited her hair. ahha quite funky. i just went as bouncer. haha with grace. wore all black and a cap. (: pictures later.

haha yah then we were late! quite jialat. but anyway. yeah we went there then stupid lyn didnt want to go in cos like we'd feel so extra there so we waited outside and roamed about then decided to go back in and found out that megan, kelly, hannah and bimb were actually walking behind us the whole time. hahah it was quite funny. and lyn was attracting so much attention. but we went in and then like yeah. it was quite fun lah. we ate then just hung around, then we sang HAPPY BIRTHDAY to them and played games and all. haha i didnt manage to take pictures though cos i promptly forgot bout my cam in my bag. -.-

but ANYWAY. yeah. then we were about to leave then they took group pictures and stuff. mmhmm. then lyn sam and me left. lyn went back to joan's house, sam went home and i went over to stef.

OH MY GOODNESS I TELL YOU. stef's house is like HUGE. it even smelled rich lah. haha i dunno how that is possible, but yes. haha i stepped in right, then WAHHHH. so grand lah. like got the soft yellow light and marble all around then like air-conditioned and got nice smell. it's like uhm... daoming si's house! but not THAT big lah. but still gimongous. haha. like really man. the porch is like huge. can fit like, at least 4 cars? i think. then i went up to her room and wapiang. ahhaha okay lahh quite nice lah. its like daoming si's room minus the long walkway from the door to his bed. haha if that helps. yeah then her bed is like those comfy comfy ones i always imagined! hahaha wahh really nice lah. then she showed me her new trainers and her SHOEBOX FULL OF POSTCARDS. hahah like whoa. really so much lah. hahha. and we did a lot of junk, like fighting over who keeps the money, and she locked me in her toilet and turned off the lights cos i didnt wanna keep the money. wahh freaked me out man. haha i couldnt see a thing lah! like seriously. super dark.

then we wasted so much time throwing the note around. it must feel so unloved): haha and i saw her kindergarten picture! ahaha looks very quite different. haha then while we were walking down we were fighting over phoney and SHE DROPPED IT. no, more like threw it? ahha. poor thing. but at least its okay lah or mum will kill me lah. haha. yeah. then i left and im hooome.(:

OLD TESTAMENT STUDY AGAIN TMR! ooh fun fun! :D

hmm pictures another time. blogger not working on me.):

JOAKIM SHOULD BE OUT.):

what a loser. cannot sing, got no looks phhfffffffm.

well whatever. all i have to say is mathilda really doesnt deserve to be out. like shes got one of the best best best vocals lah. STUPID PEOPLE WHO DUNNO HOW TO VOTE. i mean, even rahima can sing better than joakim.

thinking of that, the judges suck too. whyd they let joakim into the competition anyway?! stooooooopid.

HECK LAH. ohh man. dc today sucked. the dc girl was howww slow lah. she took like more than 2 1/2 hours to clean 2 sec 1 classrooms. wapiang i was falling asleep lah. and i couldnt concentrate on history either. so i shall have to study later. tonight, i gotta finish up eye witness report, math ws and study history. THATS ALL(: yay i think i can sleep tonight. HAPPINESS<3>yo hommies? i told thiam i wont be going though. but like meg wants me to go and stuff and like everytime they ask ill go like I DUNNO cos ill feel so bad if i say NO. but ahhhh. nvm.

exam timetable! mmm i need to come up with a good study strategy. ANY SUGGESTIONS(:

hmmmmm i forgot what i was gonna say. OH YEHH. math test. man i screwed it up soooo bad. home ec was okay lah i think. but i definitely could have done better. just cos i didnt read like ONE PARAGRAPH i confirm lose 1 mark alr. pfffffft. chinese review was okayy lah. i didnt know what i was writing though. ahha then tmr got history. cham lahh. hahah. so jialat man, i cant rmb all the rioting and striking and what the junk man. hahaha. die lah die lah. haha.

and finally

OOOOH. funkayyee. :D

heh heh heh 2h got blog now! hahaha mmhmm. so cool eh. credits to vicky.

haha so many blogs now huh. haha.

junk man. now when i sit at the computer i feel so sick lah. ahha. pffffffft. okay. hm ive just been given a whole lot of work to do. everything will be suuuuuuuuuper crammed for the next few weeks. and a lot of things will be happening. this sucks. got no time at all and everything clashes. haha.

okay drama was pretty slack. ahah. came up with sypnopsis and gotta submit script by tuesday. die lahh. ahha. and pw is seriously such a killer man. haha. tmr got art then straight onto dc. no time man tsktsk. and math test tmr. ho craaaaaaaaaap. ahhh. haha. and got chinese review also. then friday got history. and pw (if bimb doesnt complain). and sze lin's flying off. hm. siiiiiigh. so sudden lah.

then saturday got party. i dont think im going. i think i better spend time at home doing work man. or ill really never complete anything. hahah.

man i wish i didnt have such irritating juniors. like, they dont even have the decency to know they're irritating. hahaha. siiiiiigh.

phfm. rawr. wahhh so much work, so little time. haha but im feeling unproductive! how how!

from diane(:
Name someone with the same birthday as you.
char, kelvin, norman, some tricia person hahaha

where was your first date?
i wonder. hahaha

Have you ever seriously vandalised someone else's property?
huh why would i?

Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
like duh. phfm

Have you ever sang in front of a large number of people?
mmhmm. i think i went off. ahhaha. OH WELL.

What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
his eyes(:

What do you usually order from starbucks?
i dont? not rich enough haha

What is your biggest mistake?
im not telling):

Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
hahaha YESSSSSSSSS

Say something totally random about you?
mushhhhhrooooooom and rainbows.(((((((((:

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
AHAHAHAH I DIE FIRST.

Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
haahaha yeah they're my favourites

Did you have braces?
no and never will have :D

Are you comfortable with your height?
mm pretty okay i guess

What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has said to you?
and why the heck would i bother. ahha

When do you know it's love?
how bout i dont. hahah

Do you speak any other languages?
CHINESE(:

Have you ever been to a tanning salon?
HAH im tan enough(: natural one. dont need salon:D

What magazines do you read?
ahhahah MAGE

Have you ridden in a limo?
mmhmm! LA. and i played with the champagne glasses hohoho

Has anyone you were really close with passed away?
yepp. my gramps.

Do you watch mtv?
i would if i had cable

What's something that really annoys you?
not having you around(:

What's something you really like?
YOU(:

Do you like SITI NURHALIZA?
hahaha YES. she's got a nice voice(:

Can you dance?
HAHAHA yeah SURE i can

Do you have a handphone? what model andwho bought it for you?
mmhmm. samsung SGH-X620C. my DAD(: $38!

Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
HA you wish.

What do you wish for?
im happy with being me(:

Anything you wanna say to your friends?
I LOVE Y'ALL FUNKY PEOPLE OUT THERE (((((((((:

Do you have a credit card? master or visa?
HELLO KITTY ONE. aahhaha


and everytime i see you i feel so sick

hmm. i apologise for the previous post. i was just feeling down and stuff. but i did qt after that and i felt super at peace. (: so thats good. haha. mmhmm. i dunno why i was feeling that way really. i just was lah. i think i was like thinking too much and i was super paranoid and all that junk. but everything is pretty okay now. i hope.

hmm okayy lesse what happened today! mm school was okay. we really din do much today. like english we went comp lab, lit we watched tkam again, then had comp and we did some weird survey thing. hahah i just realised how bad im getting. oh well. haahah. mrs chen went through the last 2 questions for math, geog we FINALLY had our presentation. yayyy no more worries! hahah and to think i was freaking out bout it yesterday man. ahha. yeah then life science ms yeo went through gene cloning. super funny. haha. yeah. gene cloning sucks man, so complicated. hahah maaan imma fail eoys man.

yeah. we got our exam timetables today. i think flim gave it out early cos mrs chong said we not supposed to get it yet. HAHAH. oh well. hahaha. whatever. HAHAHAH AND OOOOOH MRS CHONG TOLD US CONFIDENTIAL THINGS. *gasp!* tsktsk. ahhaah oh well.

ahha yeah then after school had kayaking! oooh today was really quite fun. we went and oh but today the life vests stank like crap. like really. sucked lah. hahah but anyway. yeah. we learnt more skills today! haha so it was quite fun. but i cant do classic draw. like i gotta practise a lot before i can get it each time. haha but so funny. I GOT PRAISED TWICED TODAY BY OUR TRAINER! :DDDDDDDDDDDDD so yayy. hahaha. anyway. we learnt how to like kayak sideways. and rotate on the same spot. quite cool lah. but i got really annoyed when i couldnt do the classic draw. then like i kept trying and water got all over me and on my face then ms su thought i was crying. -.-

ahha. OH WELLS. heck. dont care lahh. then we did capsize drill! ahhah coolio. i got really scared at first cos like i thought i would lose my mind when i was underwater, but everything happened quite swiftly so its okay. i dont remember whether i tapped 3 times or not though. but the trainer said i was good! hahah so yeah. it was quite okay lah. water went up my nose though. ahha WHATEVER LAHH. i passed(:

hahaha yeah. not much today lah really. tmr got home ec test, thursday got chinese review and math test, friday got history. next week got life science, physics and chinese tests. hmmmm. ahha im pretty prepared to like fail everything man. hahah. and I HAVE DECIDED. i must study for at least 2 AFTERNOONS per week. AFTERNOONS NOT NIGHTS.

hahah MEIYAN STUDY WITH ME! yay i love my husband. although she's abandoning me for nj. pfffffft. haha. and no, im not telling you to leave me alone. if you do ill kill you. haahah

yes. i should have my own study timetable man. haha like study what for each day, since weve got the exam timetables now. hmmm.

haha yes. im feeling so... i dunno. flighty now. ahha. and i forgot what i was gonna say. wahh my stm getting worse man. tsk tsk. hahah.

haha hello deanna! nah that post was just for me to vent my anger lah. haha.

hey yihui! huh people got ask questions meh? i never see! hahah.

hm talking bout venting angers, I HOPE YOU'RE FEELING BETTER NG LIPIN.(:

eh my hand hurt after that k. ahah and you crumpled your life science notes man. hahah.

OOH I JUST REMEMBERED! ahha i was gonna post my overall grades and %age. hahah okay okay here goes!

english B3
chinese B4
math A2
lit A2
comp A2
art A2
home ec A1
history B3
geography B4
physics A1
life sciences A2
overall 71.13%

ehh i really did super badly for english lah. haha i can do so much better man. arghh. haha. chinese is cos i didnt hand in ying yong wen lah then pull my overall grades down. tsk tsk. i hope i like do fine man. wahh math was awful lah! i got 74% you know! missed A1 by 1%. 1% PFFFFFFFFT. mmm haha. lit was okay lah. barely scrapped an A2 though. comp dont care lah. dont have it for eoys anyway. i think. haha. im so not gonna take art so whatever. but still must try cos it contributes to eoys! home ec too. so must take seriously seriously! hahah. history and geog must do better! or else itll pull everything down and itll be bad. im happy for physics though. (: didnt expect to do so well lah. haha. life science is okay lah. i think i can do better though.

and all these lead to my overall percentage increasing. haha. what the crap lydia got like 80% lah. no normal person gets 80% in 2h. hahah. she got like 99% for math lah! crazy nuts man. ahha like seriously lah. crazayyee. hahah. but im happy for her. (:

haha and gis is setting her target to beat lydia's. hahah so ambitious. but actually, if i can do that, then probably itll be quite safe for me to get into triple science right. HM... but i dunno if im up to it though. siiiiiiiigh.

i need more self discipline though. haha.

OOOOOH CRAAAAAAP PW TMR MAN. cham. hahaha oh well.

haha oh my goodness lah im so slack now! im like totally not worrying bout anything! hahaha tsk tsk bad kat! oh well. hahahah.

YAY I LOVE MY ANGEL(:

im drained.

seriously. like mentally and emotionally. i cant even cry. even if i wanted to. i hate this feeling. its like being in the middle of nowhere. not here nor there. and i cant even express myself. cos i dont know how to. so everything is just inside. i dont know what to do. i hate this crap. its so... what the blast i dont know. im such an idiot. being so selfish and not accomplishing anything at all. and always giving others problems or causing them to get into trouble or making them feel bad and whatnot ARGH.

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icuaKNWHBYGFUSIJKQHDUIFVSOKJwuasfijeHUY
7FV9D8UIFAJHFIUSDJFUIJFHUFJHREUFAI

pffffffffffft. im really really trying to think positive but I JUST CANNOT SEE ANY POSITIVE SIDE TO IT. i really cannot.

i really cannot handle this anymore. too many things have been going on. too much for me to handle. im getting really nostalgic. and there are a whole lot of things on my mind bothering me and worrying me and annoying me and irritating me and I WANT THEM TO DIE.

im feeling so effing fake lah. like blast it all away to mars. no to pluto. the further the better. i wish i could live life to the fullest. like really. cos theres seriously plenty of time to die. but i just cant seem to. what with the many things happening to me and affecting me.

im such a weakling. pfffffffft. argh.

i think i should just go die.

crapalogy no one should talk to me now lest i piss them off. i have no idea whats freeeeeking wrong with me. pfffffffffffffffffffffft.

AND I WISH YOU WOULD LEAVE ME ALONE.

but there isnt any worth to living anymore.